Word Storms

Hope sprang eternal

One could always hope

Broke the mold

Broke the bank

Shivered in cold

Just plain broke

Unknown unicorns

Unexpected Disney

Goofs, gaffes

Giraffe babies

As yet, unborn

Privacy fences

Fences mended

Hiccups, hedgehogs

Halves, wholes

Plastered, pasted

Consequences

Unintended

Waste not, want not

No time to waste

Prickly pears

Privacy pleas

Privacy, please

Shutterbugs

Starlets

Beautiful faces

Without hiding places

Charlatans

Blanketed in

Loosely knit

Cardigans

Wrong-way

Wayward Willies

Wicked Wandas

Agreed–word storms

Made the world

Seem weird

 

 

Dear Occupant

Step away

From the nostalgia posts

And no one will get hurt!

Said my conscience

Try something different

Dear Occupant

Was as personal

As this conversation

With my conscience

Was going to get

Arguing with one’s conscience

Never worked before

If I were lucky, a truce

Would be worked out

Those were pitiful

Attempts at humor

Remember humor?

What about just a few more

Slipped in–now and then?

Don’t overdo it!

Here’s what always works

What always worked?

What was sure fire?

Self-deprecating humor

That’s what

Knowing you

You’ll probably

Overdo that, too

Fortune Cookie Guru’s Fortunes Fizzle

Donald Lau,  chief fortune writer at Wonton Foods–the largest provider of fortune cookies, noodles, and other Chinese staples; after 30 years has writer’s block.

I used to write 100 a year, but I’ve only written two or three a month over the past year, Lau recently told “Time” magazine.

It happens to everyone sooner or later.  Thirty years was a good run.  Mr. Lau plans to step down–let someone else take over.  Over the years, fortune cookie fortunes have changed.  Twenty-first century fortunes lean more to new age philosophy.

According to a Time article, some diners have taken cookie fortunes way too seriously.  The fortune cookie company was investigated in 2005, when 110 Powerball lottery players won about $19 million after using the “lucky number” on the back of fortunes.  A jilted wife claimed to be the victim of her husband’s fortune promising him romance on his next business trip, and a satisfied customer wrote to say he got a new job after reading a fortune about a new opportunity coming his way.

I wondered if Mr. Lau was ever envious of writers in other genres?  For example, greeting card writers.  Greeting card authors, could at least fall back on terrible puns.  Puns so terrible–they were cute.  Have a “punny day,” “wasn’t that the punniest thing?” or other drivel, equally lame.

My personal favorite is alliteration.  It’s almost an obsession.  An awful affliction, and a struggle, to allow alliteration an amenable amelioration.  But, that’s not the point.  Mr. Lau kept it fresh, kept it real for thirty years.  Few of us, myself above all, will ever do as well.

 

–Highlights from an original article, penned by Kristen Bahler, “Money Magazine Careers”–

The Sheepshank Deduction

Scapegoats, assumptions

More crooked lines

Than the Richter scale

Walk off negativity

Write your way out

Your royal gruesomeness

For most people life isn’t

One continuous party

Celebrities alone in a forest

were there no media coverage

Would they still make sounds?

Don’t let your collective egos

Bite you on your backsides

On the way out the door