More Questions, Few Answers

Tropical storms have been named for decades. Many lived on in notoriety–Katrina, Sandy, Harvey, Michael–just to name a few. When did winter storms take on names? What is the purpose of christening winter storms? Is it to sensationalize winter weather events?

The effect on the public is the same as for tropical storms. There are those that panic; raid the store shelves for food, snow shovels. Disaster preparedness advice for winter storms, is, to stay home, instead of evacuation. With extreme snowfall, you’re not going to go anywhere, anyway.

I won’t dignify the latest PC shenanigans, as they’ve been applied to two traditional Christmas songs: “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,” and “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.” The PC movement spun off its axis years ago.  The Rudolph saga represented bullying–which was inappropriate? No Virginia, “Rudolph,” was a story about the triumph of an underdog.

I shudder to think what could be said about Santa.  After all, he’s described as a bearded “Jolly Fat Man” with a workshop full of loyal elves; faithful spouse, Mrs. Claus, waiting for his return on Christmas Eve; a stable with sleigh, and eight reindeer capable of an annual flight around the world.

“SNOWMAGEDDON 2014” (POLAR REVERSAL)

My suggestion won.Long-leaf, southern yellow pines, whispered their winter warning. The deep south isn’t accustomed to precipitation of the frozen kind. A winter storm looms in the forecast for today and tomorrow–with freezing rain, sleet, and snow. Alaskan temperatures have, on several recent days, been warmer, than those on the Gulf Coast.  Bill Riales, morning anchorperson, for local television station, WKRG, yesterday, issued a challenge to viewers and facebook followers.

We need new terms to take the place of “Wintery Mix, or Wintry Mix.”  Suggestions?

My submission, “Snowmageddon 2014,” won the challenge.  With an eye to the sky–businesses, government offices, schools, closed in anticipation.  Ice coated tree limbs bend, as the strange, polar reversal continues.  Will the power stay on, uninterrupted?  Has, Hell frozen over?  A new generation of panicked Gulf Coasters, think, it may have already happened.  Out of school, children, wasted no time, building snowmen, from shallow, dirty snow.

SNOWPOCALYPSE

<> on December 27, 2010 in New York City.
It’s hard to keep perspective
When, stranded at the airport
With, wind-whipped, drifting snow
And, it’s thirteen degrees, below
Weather warnings, scream out
Like, action movie titles
“Return of the Polar Vortex-
Back With a Vengeance-
This Time, It’s For Real!”
My favorite–two thumbs up
“Snowpocalypse III”

With, red nose
And, frozen fingers
Global warming
Although, alarming
At, this moment
Doesn’t mean
That much, to me
Everything, is relative
It’s, not that bad
It’s, a dry cold
I’m, out the door
Bring, on the sequel
“Snowpocalypse IV”