How I Spent My Morning

Took three coffee cans nearly filled with pocket change to be counted and redeemed. Collected over a period of sixteen years, it came to nearly $140.00, which will come in handy over the next three weeks.

Later, waited in the repair service phone cue, since my internet was out. Waiting on hold, went as usual.  The experience outlined as follows.

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The app store is available for your convenience.

My internet was out, how could that work?

Talk with a representative live on comco.com.

Fat chance that would work with dead internet.

Have you heard about fast in home service with paperless billing?

A representative will be with you as quickly as possible.

I’d heard that promise too many times before.

At home phone service at lowest prices.

Feel secure with internet security from comco.

All representatives were busy, please stay on the line.

Had I heard about comco’s mobile app?

Comco’s help line, with social media team, available seven days a week, 24 hours a day.

I just wanted my internet to work.

I could chat live with a representative, anytime on comco.com.

Internet service from comco was the fastest, most reliable in the area.

I sure wish mine worked.

Why not opt for paperless billing.

At that point, all words muddled. “Paperless billing?  Gownless evening strap?”

All representatives were with other customers.

The mycomco app allowed for paying bills on line.

Our apologies for the wait. A representative will be with you shortly.

Comco provided the latest technology, to ensure the fastest digital speeds.

I just wanted my internet to work at any speed.

Many more ” representatives will be with you shortly, sorry for the wait.” Then the phone rang.

It had to be a foreign call center.

“This is Danica, how can I help.”

“My internet is out.”

“Have you checked your cords?”

“Yes, I’ve done all that.”

After I’d waited 45 minutes, she announced.

“You’ve called the wrong number.”

“Please call tech support at, 1-844-XXX-XXXX.”

On hold again. This time with terrible, insipid, generic music.  The kind of music, that required no royalty payments. 

Three bars of each tune, repeated until they became familiar. At 11:35AM the phone rang. No one answered this time and I was immediately cut off.

That was enough for me. After lunch, rebooted the Wi-Fi gadget in desperation. Surprisingly, everything came back to life. 

INN: Minute Newsbit (An Update)

Most of my writing efforts happen early, since I’m a morning person.  A trip to the dentist, followed up by a trip to the DMV, and my morning was shot.

Channel 10 News had a film crew outside the DMV–which is also a branch courtroom facility.  They didn’t catch my best side; as a matter of fact–if they caught me at all, it was from the backside.  This reminded me of a post from two years ago.


From archives–an update.  Mr. Charles Sandwyche, subject of my  2015 DMV story, complained about people mispronouncing his last name.  “It is pronounced ‘Sandw-i-k-e’ with a long ‘I’ sound, followed with a hard ‘ch’–not ‘sandwich’ as in ‘cheese sandwich’.  Think of it like “Sandwhite” then change the ‘T’ to a ‘K.’  Mr. Sandwyche once considered changing his last name to something simpler.

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“FU-EE-2–UU,” Mr. Charles Sandwyche said to the Lynnwood, HJ DMV, when his request for a specific vanity plate inscription was denied.  “I was totally shocked–because it wasn’t obscene or anything.  It’s a violation of free speech–if you ask mej.  They offered me “KA-BLU-EE,” “NUTZ-2-YW,” “EE-I-I-OU,” and “QAA-POWE” as alternatives.  Those weren’t anywhere near what I wanted.  So, I guess I’ll mope along with random letters and numbers.

“We try to give registrants what they want when we can,” Said Robin Batson, Secretary of NJ Department of Vehicle Registrations.  “We thought ‘FU-EE-2-UU’ could potentially incite someone to violence.  Especially with the amount of road rage incidents these days.”

“Don’t get me wrong–I’m not putting any of that on Mr. Sandwyche.  I’m sorry Mr. Sandwyche was disappointed.  There were many viable and creative alternatives available.  One of my favorites is ‘DT-DU-DOG-DU’–it’s humorous, and a public service message at the same time.  So far, there have been no takers.  Maybe Mr. Sandwyche isn’t a dog person?”

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1-24-17, Lantz Walters, “Minute Newsbit” Imaginary News Network–

 

 

 

INN: MINUTE NEWSBIT

dmv

“FU-EE-2-UU,” Mr. Charles Sandwyche said to the Lynnwood, NJ DMV, when his request for a specific vanity license plate inscription was denied.  “I was totally shocked–because it wasn’t obscene or anything.  It’s a violation of free speech–if you ask me.  They offered me “KA-BLU–EE,” “NUTZ-2-YW”, “EE-I-I-OU,” and “QAA-POWE” as alternatives.  Those weren’t anywhere near what I wanted.  So, I guess I’ll mope along with random letters and numbers.

“We try to give registrants what they want when we can, said Robyn Batson, Secretary of NJ Department of Vehicle Registrations.  We thought “FU-EE-2-UU” could potentially incite someone to violence.  Especially with the amount of road rage incidents these days.  Don’t get me wrong–I’m not putting any of that on Mr. Sandwyche.  I’m sorry Mr. Sandwyche was disappointed.  There were many viable and creative alternatives available. One of my favorites ones is “DT-DU-DOG-DU”–it’s humorous, and a public service message at the same time.  So far, there’s been no takers.

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1-19-15, Lantz Walters, “Minute Newsbit”–Imaginary News Network©