Back In the Suitcase

Special occasions

Once, twice a year

Humorous anecdotes

Tired, tried, and true

Weren’t goats funny?

If these walls could talk

Wow, what a crowd!

Spin cycled thrillers

Used, abused, dirtied

Back in the suitcase

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The Qualm Before the Storm

Throughout the ages, things were named

Things did what things were intended to do

Sometimes same things had different names

Some people had couches in their living rooms

Others insisted they were davenports

Diehards argued for davinettes

They’d be davinettes, till the day they died

No matter–they were still the same things

Served the same purposes

Some didn’t like current names for things

They preferred different, new “thing” names

New names–for the same old things

Other than being confusing for those familiar

With the old names, things still did the same things

In spite of changes in their nomenclature

 

 

 

First Class, Lightning Fast, Hauling Trash

Advertising slogans can be humorous, cheesy, sleazy, also slightly askew.  The title words were painted on a large rollaway steel construction dumpster.  What was it about refuse collection that was first class?  Did their truck drivers wear suits and ties?  I’m addressing the guilty parties.  What were they thinking?

  • Your trash, our cash
  • It’s alimentary, my dear Watson
  • Goals not well defined? We’ll help you focus–City Optometrists
  • What goes in must come out
  • Your sit-down not outstanding?
  • We meet by accident
  • Not better–cheaper wood chippers
  • No rabbits in our hats, no bees in our bonnets–Main Street Haberdashery
  • Not thrilled by the drill?  Better Dentistry Clinic
  • What a pane–Quality Glass Repair
  • UFO’s in your kitchen?  Excelsior Cooking School
  • Lost that loving feeling?  Baymont Divorce Lawyers
  • We love, love handles–Sue’s Tailoring
  • Messy Marvin’s Housecleaning Service
  • No barks, no bites, no errors–Gayle’s Obedience School
  • Driver’s license points?  That’s the point?  Point A–Point B Driving School

Midweek– Think, Sink, or Swim

What light through yonder window breaks?  Why, it’s our long-lost friend the sun.

It’s a good day for conclusion jumping, claim jumping, line jumping, leap frogging, frog jumping; any other kind of jumping–for those so inclined.  Makes me tired just thinking about it.

Beating the bushes for story ideas–at the same time, careful not to overlook the obvious.

Fingers didn’t move as fast as my mind worked.  That will never change.

Sometimes I feel like the guy that spoke several languages; didn’t understand any of them.

Technology changed the world–changed the way we do things.  Made the world seem smaller.  In spite of advances, human nature never changed.

There’s comfort to be found when things don’t change too drastically, too quickly.  I despise planned obsolescence, which seems to occur faster-and-faster.

I’m older, like to reminisce.  Only people of my generation can relate to the same experiences.  On some days, I feel like a twenty-year-old, trapped in a sixty-eight year old man’s body.  Other days the opposite is true.

In the old days, we didn’t apply superlatives to everything that happened.

What would happen if a termite were taped to a splinter to remove it?