After the Thrill

Nothing much has changed.  Discarded items replaced by other useless things.  A second glance at a post from two years ago.

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Long ago

Love affairs

Thrills departed

Some, barely started

Rumpled, forlorn, forgotten

Behemoth, stone-age electronics

Temporary dog fence

No longer made sense

Things bought for five bucks

Supposed to work–never did

Clothes from the eighties

When girls had big hair

Were clueless in Beverly Hills

My first guitar with broken strings

Propped up with the other things

Billy Bass, sass and crass

Pet rock, singing bird clock

Perhaps I’m too sentimental?

Inanimate objects can’t think or talk

Mood ring, get in line–take a walk

 

Indiana Snake Charmers…

Lived in felony colonies

Played in shadows

Hid from the light

Pulled overcoat collars

Up around their scrawny necks

Died slow deaths

Told lies, that never lasted

Made judgement calls

That only made it worse

While crawfish bubbled

Crawfish boiled

This or that wasn’t cool

You were doing it wrong

Nowhere near done

What took you so long?

Try this on for size

If that didn’t beat all?

 

IF I’M LUCKY ENOUGH TO LIVE THAT LONG

If I’m lucky enough to live that long; I’m going to be as full of life, as the folks performing in this fictitious talent show; for the residents of Mayfair Assisted Living Center.  I’ve recently stepped way out of my comfort zone and joined the local YMCA.  My first impressions were–it’s mostly old folks here.  Maybe, It should be renamed the O-M-C-A?  

A few sessions later–I’ve changed my mind.  Sure, there were oldsters, using walkers to go around the jogging track.  But, they were making efforts to do something; make their lives better.  And, by golly, one nice lady, was proud that she was 87.  Her mind was sharp–she could tell young whippersnappers, like me a thing or two.   She’s been there–every time I’ve been there.      

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SPRING CONCERT & TALENT SHOW

MAYFAIR ASSISTED LIVING CENTER

Friday & Saturday: March 29th & 21st

4:30–7:30 in the cafeteria

FEATURING: Our own talented performers

  • Jerome & The Whippersnappers
  • Twirpy & The Dingbats
  • Two Hot Tomatoes
  • Larry & The Pacemakers
  • Melon Collie & The Babes
  • The Duke of Pearls
  • The Old Spice Girls
  • The Liver Spots
    WITH AMAZING MUSICAL RENDITIONS OF:

    “No, I’m Not Dead” “Who Did You Say You Were?” “Pass Me More Butter” “Don’t Get Around Much Anymore” “I’m In the Mood For Love–And You’re Simply Pretending You Can’t Hear Me” “Where You Lead, I Can’t Follow” “Just Pretend I Love You” “Getting Up in the Middle of the Night” “Broken Hips and Ruby Lips” “Say It Again–Louder” “It’s All New To Me” “If I Don’t Remember–Just Remember This” “Everybody’s Shouting At Me” “Angina In Carolina” “Doc–Stop Playing With My Heart” “Aching Pains and Golden Needles” “I’m Doing Fine–I’m Not So Sure About Him”  “Wild Thing, You Make My Ears Ring” “Thankful For What I’ve Got”

    FREE JUICE BAR & COOKIES
    “TWIRPY” SEZ–BE THERE–OR BE SQUARE!!!!

SCRATCHING LIKE A CAT IN A LITTER BOX & OTHER FATHERISMS

Picky eaters and picky eating:  “Stop it–you’re scratching like a cat in a litter box.”

Body language and insincerity:  “He was blinking like a toad in a hailstorm–couldn’t get the lies out fast enough.”

King of the castle:  “Yes, I’m king of the castle.  I keep telling myself I’m having fun.  Don’t worry, there are plenty of things to bring me back to earth.  You kids and your mom–for example.”

Watching the “People’s Choice” and other award shows:  “I’m not watching that parade of buffoons and Botox babies.”

Acquired Tastes:  “Coffee, oysters, bleu cheese, Larry King, late-night TV, Mickey Rooney and Judy  Garland”

On body image:  “If you don’t like what you see in the mirror.  Stop looking at yourself so much.”

Oldies radio:  “Maybe I’m stuck in a rut, but I like it.  It’s the same hits you heard a few minutes ago all day long.”

Cheap imitations:  “They’re like hits by the “Soundalikes”–appealing, but not the real thing.  Like The Beatles and The Monkees, The Three Stooges and The Bowery Boys, Superman and Batman.”

Living in the past:  “It’s OK to think about it–because you are your past.  Why relive the past–that you’ll never get back again?”

Climbing the corporate ladder:  “Don’t worry about it.  Everybody’s not going to make it to the top.  It’s not a ladder at all–it’s a pyramid.  Most people are at the bottom holding it up.”

Friendship:  False friends like you because you’re popular.  False friends will hate you because you don’t have the right pedigree.  True friends like you for who you are.

Gas Wars:  “Why do they call them that?  It sounds like frat house pranks after all-night burrito buffets.  Or like your mom’s cabbage cooking.”

On being in debt:  “Don’t get into debt if you don’t have to.  If you do have debts–pay them off as soon as possible.  Once in debt–you’re always in debt.”

Taking the last cookie:  “Stop arguing with your brother about who gets the last cookie.  It doesn’t matter.  Sometimes toast is just toast.”

About time:  “There’s never a good time–to do things you don’t like to do.  Like going to a friend’s funeral.  There’s never enough time–period.  Take time to care about everything.   Even, doing homework and taking out the trash.”

Halloween fun houses:  “It’s only some grown men running around in their long underwear with chain saws.  Old Man Johnson, from across the street, mowing the yard in his underwear–that would be much scarier.”

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