Rinse, Lather, Repeat

My lawn is squishy from excessive summer rains. Please, somebody turn off the faucet.

Perusing the news. A 100-year-old fruitcake was discovered to still be edible. Any takers?

More people are cheating on their taxes. I think the same people have always cheated–just never got caught.

The parent company of IHOP and Applebees, is reportedly ready to close up to 160 underperforming outlets. Funny thing, I was just talking about our local franchise, and how it had gone downhill.

Anyone else want to see an “Apolitical Television Network?”

Radio commercials heard many times before–“make money working from home;” “reduce credit car debt forever;” “regain your brain power.” Have to give credit for persistence.

Frozen pizzas were scattered all over the highway in an Arkansas community this week, due to a delivery truck mishap.

Elvis Presley week is fast approaching. Do you have celebration plans?

Is the current crises with N. Korea like the Cold War of the past? It is a small reminder of what it was like. The Cold War was much worse. When schools start to have “duck and cover” drills, once again–then, I’ll start to worry.

Some experts alleged predicted solar eclipse maps were inaccurate.  In any case, much of the northern hemisphere, will glimpse a complete to partial eclipse.  I remember safely viewing past partial eclipses by reflections, and with welder’s helmets.

A stray cat ran across the outfield during a recent St. Louis Cardinals baseball game.  The team went on to win and the fluffy tabby will henceforth be known as “The Rally Cat.” The feral cat was later found, and I wish him/her well.

RIP: J. Geils & Lots of Miscellaneous

I really didn’t care what his full given name was at the time.  It seemed odd that most media outlets mentioned popularity of his namesake band–only in the eighties.

For it was earlier, in the seventies that I was turned on, in a big way to this R & B, almost reggae–couldn’t sit still, hard-hitting, made me want to dance, band.

Give credit where credit’s due, but do yourselves a favor and check out “Those Bad Boys from Boston’s” “Live” Full House album from 1972.  You won’t regret it.  Still sounded good today.  Although listening as a 68 year old, it didn’t do my hearing and tinnitus any favors.

Other music news:  Bob Dylan’s hasn’t gone away–he finally stepped up and accepted his Nobel Peace Prize.

My two dogs are pouting because it’s flea and heartworm treatment day; medications administrated by yours truly.  In two hours all will be forgiven and forgotten.

When you’re trying to fake a vacation–too many people, I’ve observed, take work with them.  They never relax.

Good ways to waste time:  Whoever it is, stop sending me spam.  I don’t need any help in this department.

Great malls of the people:  Shopping malls all over the country are being boarded up.  Over expansion, and too much competition from the likes of Amazon.

I’ve always wanted to say this to someone consuming a bloody rare steak, but thought the better of it.  “Trust the autopsy is going well?”

Advice, I wish someone would have given me.  “Some day this won’t be enough.  Then it may be too late.”

Thick-headed as they came.  Aloof at the six-o’clock news.  This is Warren Burrows, reporting from somewhere in West Dictatorial, Africa.**

Still to come:  Rockabilly Rubik’s Cubes?  Could be the latest thing?

Masters of hype exercised their “nuclear options” again, with more comparisons to Hitler.  Comparing Abe Lincoln to Hitler?  I’m a pretty nice guy, compared to Hitler.  Knock it off with the Hitler comparisons.

My jury duty obligation has ended.  I was a “bridesmaid, not a bride”–as I was not selected for a trial.

Someone took umbrage with a post I made on another forum this week.  I thought the post was extremely innocuous.  They were more interested in picking a fight, than disagreeing with me.  I didn’t take the bait–as much as I wanted to call them out for their ignorance.

 

 

–Image, http://www.cdandlp.com/–

 

 

 

 

 

 

**There was no implication that the continent of Africa, was superior or inferior to any of the other seven continents.  Forms of government, or even countries without forms of government, vary throughout the world.  Different strokes for different folks.  Thick-headed” journalistic references were fictional, and not intended to impugn, or do harm.       

 

 

Poke the Giants

A few years ago, some wise guy started a coffee shop named “Dumb Starbucks.”  The idea hit the media by storm.  Of course the mega franchise wasn’t amused.  Giants didn’t take kindly to being poked.  The giant’s legal team roared, swatted the irritating little fly and “Dumb Starbucks” faded to oblivion.

Some advice for others wishing to poke other corporate giants.   You’re going to be smacked down by the giant’s legal team anyway–why not be more creative, than calling the object of your disdain, “Stupid” or “Dumb?”  Learn from the “Dumb Starbucks” guy, be more original.  Why couldn’t he have preceded Starbucks, with “Not,” or “Knot,” as in “Not (Knot) Starbucks?”

Throwing down the gauntlet–more Poke the Giant ideas:

Drunken Donuts:  Alcohol infused pastries and sweet treats

Pizza Hat:  Haberdashery and men’s wear, featuring pizza crust formed into edible hats.  I think thin and crispy would work best in summer.  Perhaps deep dish in winter?

Goggle:  Search engine, like Google, the real one.  It would be a PR nightmare.  This one would throw the giant into an earth-shaking, rage–since Google, is frequently misspelled this way.  Of course, the other, obvious search engine bungle, would be, “Bingle,” instead of Microsoft’s Bing.

For the Team

Divisiveness faded

Like dirty snow

On every sandlot

Stadium and alley

Grass has gone green

The equinox vernal

They stand stick-straight

Optimism eternal

Stay within yourself

Try hard as you can

With clever phraseology

That will knock their socks off

Sprains, pains disappear

Loudspeaker blared

“All those with bruised egos

Report to the training room!”

Happy Favorite Furry Prognosticator Day! (Updated)

punx-phil_wide-f5538c38d419577b08da8bb8da820ee533859c04-s900-c85Unlike when this was written, Super Bowl LI won’t be until next Sunday.  February 1st is also my father’s birthday.  Were he still here, he would be 102 years old. 

Retailers are missing a great marketing opportunity by not capitalizing on Groundhog Day.  Outside of Punxatawny, PA, the holiday is a mere curiosity.  There is a holiday between New Years and Valentines Day.

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It’s the big letdown, day after the Super Bowl.  No doubt, some fuzzy-headed, thick-tongued, post SB revelers, will see their own shadows this morning.  Those going to work will wish they had the day off.  For non-football fans, the wait is on till spring training and the baseball season.

Before I forget it–Happy Favorite Furry Prognosticator Day!  Maybe you hadn’t thought about it much, but it’s a big deal.  The folks in Punxsutawny, PA think so, anyway.  Whatever the rudely awakened Punxsutawny Phil sees, determines how spring will arrive–according to local legend.

Why should the good folks of Punxsutawny, PA have a lock on the occasion?  Why don’t we make it a national holiday?  And why should groundhogs get all the glory?

There are other furry critters, that I’m sure could prognosticate as well.  Beavers, for example–which are also rodents.  Has anyone explored the prognosticating potential of beavers?  And what about their underestimated distant cousins, the muskrats?

My personal favorite, furry prognosticator is the “Wooly Bear” caterpillar–or, as is commonly known, the “Wooly Worm.”  In the interest of brevity, the official holiday could be shortened to “NFFPD” from “National Favorite Furry Prognosticator Day.”

If you’re interested–and I hope you are.  Please contact your local elected representatives.  Just leave my name out of it.  I shy away from publicity–just like the groundhog.  Perhaps the idea of getting chummy with furry critters is abhorrent?  That’s entirely your choice.

Groundhog day is a bit like bowling.  Some like it–some don’t.  Bowling has its own terminology.  Bowling enthusiasts have their own clothing; colorful bowling shirts–monogrammed, with bold-face names, like “Duke,” “Marge,” “Bud,” or “Princess.”  Strikes mean something entirely different from strikes in baseball.  Good bowlers–I come in peace, and mean no harm.  For baseball fans, like myself–help is on the way.

This Road Leads to Another, Then Another…

Hardest thing about being a peasant?

Everywhere on the planet

it wasn’t a pleasant existence

Hardest thing about being an introvert?

Nobody’s going to know

that you know anything

Good ways to waste time?

There are so many

it’s a waste of time to list them

Join those unhappy with status quo?

I’ve got no other place to go

I don’t care to get devolved