Another One-Size-Fits-All Rant

Too bad Chip and Joanna Gaines decided to fold up their tent and discontinue the popular “Fixer Upper” TV show.

I liked their show–even though I know a lot of it was staged drama. Just hammering nails and ripping out old boards would not have been interesting.

What I’m wondering about is the lasting effect after they’re gone? They inspired so many people to install barn door track and ship lap inside their homes.

Not that I have anything thing against either of these things. Everything looks good in its place. Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but many imitators get carried away to the point of mockery.

Why cover an expensive full-sized oil painting with sliding cross buck barn doors when the artist intended for it to be seen? Ship lap is fine on an accent wall, but not on every wall, in every room. I still think barn door, sliding  tracks are best for real barn doors–as they were intended. These fads will fade away like the others before, and the ones to come.

Although, I’m somewhat shocked at the renewed popularity of wallpaper.  Wasn’t that trend over after the shockingly garish flocked, and foil wallpapers of the seventies?  However, I am and have always been a fan of pocket doors.


They’re Only Game Shows

NBC has a new prime-time game show that requires players to agree on controversial topics.  “Divided,” which I assumed was short for “divide and conquer,” intended to capitalize on opinionated contestants–regarding current social, political, and cultural issues–without coming to blows.

I’ve only seen bits and pieces.  On one episode, a player deliberately refused to agree with the majority because there’d been an attempt to vote him out–their winnings disappeared.  I found the show to be a frustrating display of group dysfunctionality.

Game show popularity ebbs and flows.  Stalwarts, Wheel of Fortune, Jeopardy, and The Price Is Right are still around.  ABC’s “Game Night” found success with updated versions of To Tell the Truth, Pyramid, and The Match Game.

NBC’s offered “The Wall,”  a sort of “Plinko” on steroids–a vertical peg board of dizzying heights, from which chips are dropped.  Like Deal Or No Deal, potential prize amounts are staggering.  Points are given and taken away with equal frequency.

My escape is watching the Wheel with Pat and Vanna every evening at 6:30.  They need to re-check my address.  I know I should have won the $5,000 giveaway by now.

Game shows allow a 30 minute break from reality.  I prefer them to current local news.  Splattered across local televisions screens–two fugitives remained at large.  They’ve murdered three, wounded one in their latest crime spree.–



grill marks
Think about an object or a cultural phenomenon you don’t really like. Now write a post (tongue in cheek or not–your call!) about why it’s the best thing ever.

On last night’s “Next Big Grill Star,” contestant Mark was eliminated from competition when it was discovered he’d used a Magic Marker to make perfect grill marks.  Mark was remarkably unfazed.

“I know it was a serious lapse in judgment.  And I’ll have to pay for it.  I was trying to keep up with Cindy–she’s won everything.  Nobody’s that perfect.  I’m going back to my restaurant in Dallas–where we grill the best steaks in the world!”

Mark, now known as “The Mark,” may not be down and out for very long if “Next Big Grill Star” producer Mike Morgan has anything to say about it.  Mike grabbed “The Mark” to be one of the judges on a new reality cooking show.

In the pilot episode of “Cooking on the Edge,” judge “The Mark,” told contestant Philip, “Just stop!  Stop! Your cooking belongs in a truck stop–making grilled cheese sandwiches for sweaty truckers!

It got even better with another contestant.

“What do you call this?” Asked, “The Mark.”

“Ribeye steak,” answered the obviously intimidated female contestant.

“Steak?  This isn’t steak.  It’s tough–it’s dry.  I’d call this West Texas road jerky!”

Simon Cowell, wherever he is, may have been outdone.  Picture Dr. Phil’s Texas accent with Simon Cowell’s attitude.  Reality TV–don’t stick a fork in it just yet.  It’s nowhere near done.


Fear Factor, The Kardashians

Relationships, on and off again

Storage wars, Parking wars

American Idol, Next Big Star

Dirty Jobs, Deadliest Catch

Bridezillas, The Bachelorette

Trivialities, Dysfunctionalities

Policewomen of Broward County

Ice Road Truckers, Police chases

Big Brother House, Amazing Races

Hoarders, Intervention, Jersey Shore

Whiners, Moonshiners, Give us more!

Next Big Star, New York Ink

Demographics? Makes me think

Hillbilly Handfishers, Downsized

Cajun Justice, Baseball Wives

Child Star Pageants, Next hit smash!

It’s time to take out the trash!