Running Lean & Mean

A post never finished from this past May.  Today was about errand running, started with going for lawn mower gas, right before a driving rainstorm.  Took my laptop in for repairs, trip timed perfectly to get involved in gridlock on the I-10, because of a serious bay bridge accident.  Some creative detours later, stopped for lunch, and all ended well.


Secret awesome sauce
Bad memory foam
Space probing questions
Lonesome holograms
Lucky in luck
Knot the hole thing
Reverse osmosis day
Hat attacks on windy days
Wear whir you?
Wye, why, Wye?


Her name was McGill, She called herself Lil, but everyone knew her as Nancy–The Beatles–

Ranting In the Dark, and Other Irrelevancies

Ticks, Tocks, Upticks
Just the Fax, Ma’am
If You Gnu Suzie
Gnaw, I Think I’ll Wait
Waiter, Fork It Over
Silver Pincers and Golden Weevils
Climbing the Ladder Of  Wretched Excess
Seizing Caesar Salad
Gloom and Blooms
Bluebeard of Happiness
Hark, Hark, a Spark
The Pint Of No Return
Shaving Money–How To Do It
The Uptown Express Bust
Like Nothing Ever Herd Before
Alas, Alack, and Fare-Thee-Well
Away, Away, Any Time, Anyhow

What Did Lingonberries Have To Do With Anything?

Heads with nothing in them
Had lots to say
Why were days so long?
Why did all my friends
Have white beards?
No answers
Only groans–and
Excuses for puns
Stand up straight
For perfect pasta
Iraq, paper, scissors
Down bubble, half-bubble
Lingonberries were a
Big thing in Sweden
Or so, I’ve heard

All-Day Sucker Punches

Lost lots of bets–I’ll bet

Everyday is someone’s birthday

Bought things couldn’t take back

Took back things that couldn’t be bought

Were there such things as social media rights?

Look what happened when you weren’t looking

Apologies to those expecting witty profundities

There’s never a sasquatch or bigfoot around when you need one

By the time you “get it” the thrill has already gone

Still reeling from all-day sucker punches?

Simon Says (Grown-up Version)

Hard to believe it wasn’t you
Alibi so shaky, needed a seismograph
Up to your arms in elbow macaroni
In the midst of a drought
Only words can do that
Another well-known celebrity threatened to go silent
That was after he or she went silent last time
Read between the lions
Ghost or hologram? You decide
Stay tuned for the unsightly evening news
Newer, better, with more feature I didn’t know how to use
Two steps forward, three steps back
Hit the delete button one time too many
Prediction for 2018: More things will happen

Whipped Topics

Sock mending, deficit spending
On topic, whipped topping
Top of the morning
Mourning doves
In the pink, in the red, in the black
There’s more in the back
Green with envy
Green-eyed jealousy
Yellow-bellied cowards
Behind jalousie windows
Got the winter blues
Since the yawn of dawn
Big deals–compassion eaten
By moray eels
Sea monkeys
Animal magnetism
Pheromones, how to meet girls
X-ray glasses, chinchilla ranches
TV doctors, grim prognosis
Fatalists, philatelists
New family feudalists

This Road Leads to Another, Then Another…

Hardest thing about being a peasant?

Everywhere on the planet

it wasn’t a pleasant existence

Hardest thing about being an introvert?

Nobody’s going to know

that you know anything

Good ways to waste time?

There are so many

it’s a waste of time to list them

Join those unhappy with status quo?

I’ve got no other place to go

I don’t care to get devolved

Insane Word Games

Napoleon Bonybutt

Elfin John, and someone

named, Elvis Davis

in a bit of lunacy

stumbled over

stigma enigmas

walruses, stigmasauruses

the twinge–not, just one

there were two of them

they wanted three

lightning stripes

patterns and stripes

tried on for sighs

nothing too loose

nothing to lose

run-on sentences

ran on-and-on

last chance for change

missed–because, they did

everything wrong

and that was all-there was