A Missing Meatball Conundrum

My dining klutziness has gotten worse, since this was published, two-years ago.  With company in for a visit last week, we dined out several times.  Somehow, bits of this or that ended up in my lap or on my shirt.  Souvenir stains I didn’t need or want.

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Somewhere between wearable food and klutziness lies the mystery of the missing meatball.

It started when a delectable Italian meatball sandwich met up with yours truly.  I paid for four happy meatballs.  Now, there were only three.  It was sad–because it was only there for a brief moment.

Meatballs can be difficult to control–fair warning from me.  “Meatball control–we have a situation over here, at table 15.”

I hated the “On Top of Spaghetti” song, about a poor meatball that embarked on an unplanned journey when somebody sneezed.

The sneezing part was gross and disgusting.  Wasn’t that why they had sneeze guards at salad bars?

My missing prodigal meatball was nowhere to be found.  What to do–crawl under the table on hands and knees?  The five-second rule had long passed–if anybody followed it.

After paying the tab, getting ready to leave–there it was.  The saucy, recalcitrant, missing meatball was on the floor, under the back of my chair.  It was no longer a meatball worth chasing.

This has been an example of what not to do when eating meatball sandwiches, presented as a public service.  Don’t let this happen to you!

 

A MISSING MEATBALL CONUNDRUM

Mmm...meatball_sub_(5183008075)

Somewhere between wearable food and klutziness lies the mystery of the missing meatball.

It started when a delectable Italian meatball lunch sandwich met up with yours truly.  I paid for four happy meatballs.  Now, there were only three.  It was sad–because it was only there for a brief moment.

Meatballs can be difficult to keep under control–fair warning from me.  I hated the “On Top of Spaghetti” song about a poor meatball that embarked on an unplanned journey when somebody sneezed.

The sneezing part was gross and disgusting.  Wasn’t that why they had sneeze guards at salad bars?

The prodigal meatball was nowhere to be found.  What to do–crawl under the table on hands and knees?  The five-second rule had long passed–if anybody really followed it.

After paying the tab, getting ready to leave–there it was.  The saucy, recalcitrant missing meatball was on the floor under the back of my chair.  It was no longer a meatball worth chasing.

This has been an example of what not to do when eating meatball sandwiches presented as a public service.  Don’t let this happen to you!

–Image, http://www.en.wikipedia.org/

KLUTZINESS

alarm clock

Broken alarm clocks
Told a sad tale
Never on time
It was just as well

Dirty chariot
Dented and dinged
Scratched furniture
With water rings

Cracked granite countertop
Carpet with paint stains
Faucet drips that won’t stop
Roof leaks when it rains

Surrounded by mistakes
Bandaged cuts and blisters, from
Broken-handled shovels and rakes
Manifestations of klutziness

Boho chic, eclectic
May be all the rage
Mismatch’s not a choice
For those stuck
In the awkward stage