Saturday Ravings Post

Common enemies
Procrastination
Fast talking somnambulists
Still clad in footy pajamas
Remembered when
Five bucks, bought
A lot more junk
Demanded–cold, hard, cash
Asked questions
Without clear answers
Whatever happened to?
Who was stronger
Fearless Fly or Mighty Mouse?
Could one escape a runaway elevator
by jumping up before it hit the bottom?
Why not talk to strangers?

 

Don’t Call Us, We’ll Call You

“Do you have Prince Albert in a can?” Asked the prankster caller.  “Well, don’t you think you better let him out?”  The caller hung up to guffaws of laughter.

Telephone pranks, prevalent during my misspent youth–along with, “Is your refrigerator running?”  “Yes it is,” was the expected answer.  “Then you better catch it, it’s running down the road.”

Townsfolk knew they were kids from the neighborhood and meant no harm.

Aren’t junk phone calls annoying? During all hours of the day, especially at inconvenient times.

Telemarketers bad enough, political calls were the absolute worst. Always from the same numbers. Unfamiliar numbers, never answered. Didn’t unwanted callers ever get the message?

No call lists never seemed to help. Telemarketers and their ilk, had ways to hurdle such roadblocks. They used the local area code prefix to snare the unsuspecting. Robocalls randomly dialed number sequences.

Wireless phones were not exempted. Junk calls and text messages abounded.

Games played for commercial purposes, or games played by neighborhood pranksters?  I prefer neighborhood pranksters.

Small Talk Monday

What’s new?

Oh, I don’t know

What’s new with you?

Ain’t nothing to it.

How about you?

Now, that the old business was out of the way.

Did you hear about the Chicago barber offering spray-on beards?

No, was it the same as spray-on hair?

Not quite, but almost the same.

For those that couldn’t wait, or couldn’t grow their own.

If I couldn’t grow the real thing, I would just as soon do without.

He Meant Well

After everything’s over
The best that could be said
Was–that he meant well
According to unofficial
Polls, surveys–with
Applicable, caveats, disclaimers
Buick is removing its own name
From its cars next model year
Rumor has it–during a two-year
Transitional period, Buick autos
Will have T-A-F-K-A-B badging
You’re only as good as
What you’ve done lately

All-Day Sucker Punches

Lost lots of bets–I’ll bet

Everyday is someone’s birthday

Bought things couldn’t take back

Took back things that couldn’t be bought

Were there such things as social media rights?

Look what happened when you weren’t looking

Apologies to those expecting witty profundities

There’s never a sasquatch or bigfoot around when you need one

By the time you “get it” the thrill has already gone

Still reeling from all-day sucker punches?

Remorse In Paradise

Guests without time to waste
Pirates, poodles, pekinese
Assigned blame, aimed to please
Blocked doors, grocery stores
Their mamas in bad moods
Whacked them with wooden spoons
Upped the ante
Five minutes more
Five minutes here
Five minutes there
But, nobody cared
Caveats, stipulations
She knew what to do
In these situations