How I Spent My Morning

Took three coffee cans nearly filled with pocket change to be counted and redeemed. Collected over a period of sixteen years, it came to nearly $140.00, which will come in handy over the next three weeks.

Later, waited in the repair service phone cue, since my internet was out. Waiting on hold, went as usual.  The experience outlined as follows.

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The app store is available for your convenience.

My internet was out, how could that work?

Talk with a representative live on comco.com.

Fat chance that would work with dead internet.

Have you heard about fast in home service with paperless billing?

A representative will be with you as quickly as possible.

I’d heard that promise too many times before.

At home phone service at lowest prices.

Feel secure with internet security from comco.

All representatives were busy, please stay on the line.

Had I heard about comco’s mobile app?

Comco’s help line, with social media team, available seven days a week, 24 hours a day.

I just wanted my internet to work.

I could chat live with a representative, anytime on comco.com.

Internet service from comco was the fastest, most reliable in the area.

I sure wish mine worked.

Why not opt for paperless billing.

At that point, all words muddled. “Paperless billing?  Gownless evening strap?”

All representatives were with other customers.

The mycomco app allowed for paying bills on line.

Our apologies for the wait. A representative will be with you shortly.

Comco provided the latest technology, to ensure the fastest digital speeds.

I just wanted my internet to work at any speed.

Many more ” representatives will be with you shortly, sorry for the wait.” Then the phone rang.

It had to be a foreign call center.

“This is Danica, how can I help.”

“My internet is out.”

“Have you checked your cords?”

“Yes, I’ve done all that.”

After I’d waited 45 minutes, she announced.

“You’ve called the wrong number.”

“Please call tech support at, 1-844-XXX-XXXX.”

On hold again. This time with terrible, insipid, generic music.  The kind of music, that required no royalty payments. 

Three bars of each tune, repeated until they became familiar. At 11:35AM the phone rang. No one answered this time and I was immediately cut off.

That was enough for me. After lunch, rebooted the Wi-Fi gadget in desperation. Surprisingly, everything came back to life. 

Clean Or Dirty?

A little game played at home, or when visiting. Were the dishes in the dishwasher clean or dirty? Some used the washer as a source of clean dishes and glassware.

What days were scheduled for trash pickup? Were there different days for recyclables and regular trash? The really confusing part. There were different refuse companies with different neighborhood subscribers.

It wasn’t like I was among total strangers. These were family members. Family members that worked week days.

A Saturday of dog sitting while mom and daughters visited the local Ikea store. The weather was unseasonably cool and beautiful.

Quirks & Quacks

Never had a pet duck. There were plenty of cats, dogs, chickens, calves, rabbits, and pigs. Not that I had anything against ducks.

When I grew up on the farm, there were so many mother cats with kittens, we kids struggled to name them all. One kitten was christened, “Little Bitty Wild Man,” another named “Meowy.” Then the genetic experiment went amiss, distemper struck, and only the strongest survived.

Inanimate objects like automobiles didn’t have personalities, but they did have quirks.  Mostly due to deferred maintenance and a long succession of owners.  Left rear doors closed reluctantly.  Heaters worked, full-blast only–if at all.  Windows wouldn’t roll down or up.  Worn, three-speed stick shift linkages tested patience.  Frequently stuck in second gear.

Nothing like the thrill of going into a skid on rain-slick roads, because one of the tires was bald.  There was only money for used tires.  Money is no longer the problem it once was.  Procrastination, however, still is.

My laptop computer overheated and shut down for a long time before it was repaired.  Other things took priority.  I have two PC’s, and the laptop worked in 5-10 minute spurts, before it had to be shut down.

The worst quirk–it sometimes wouldn’t shut down, without the battery being removed.  Why did I put up with it?  I’ve put up with quirky things my entire life, and see them as challenges to overcome.  I know, I’m not alone. Toilet tank handle jigglers, please raise your hands.  Put them down. I can’t see them anyway.

 

 

Answers For Which There Are No Questions

That’s so not you.  “Not You (s)” popular phrase used in successful realtor. com commercial.  “Not You (s)” interchangeable with “loser (s).”

Right turns from the left hand lanes and vice versa.

Retirement doesn’t mean nothing to do.

All things in moderation, doesn’t mean, no fun.

Don’t have a target on my back for survey takers, pollsters, telemarketers.

Blog posts begin with first key strokes, then first words.

Correspondence from retirement accounts, health care providers, government documents required law degrees to decipher.

Robo-calls from HMO’s assumed the worst about client’s health needs. Fortunately, I am still able to feed and dress myself–knock wood.

Being awakened by my dog every two hours last night for no apparent reason.