Better Things To Talk About?

A miscue, gaffe

Regurgitated

Everywhere

From highest potentate

To lowest Joe Schmoe

Till everyone’s

Cup runneth over

With latest hackneyed

Cliche word of the day

What it meant?

What was implied?

Was it foreign?

Secret code?

Something? Nothing?

Amusing?  Serious?

More questions than

An average two-year old

Could ask in a day

I’m not inclined

To join in the fray

A word that you’ll

Not, hear here

A Creative Hour

Welcome to, yet another, in a series of morning, creative endeavors.  Here, with Marty, my imaginary, sometimes annoying, alter-ego.

“Summer is creeping up on us.”

“That’s right, You.”

Why Marty never called me by my real name was still a mystery.

“Along with outdoor activities–backyard barbecues, splashes in the pool, will come annoying bugs and gnats.”

“You better know it.”

“They’ll bug you when you’re swimming in your pool, they’ll bug you when you’re gassing up your car, they’ll bug you–make you look like a fool.”

“Marty, any particular reason you’re channeling Dylan this morning?”

“No, it’s just a Dylanesque kind of day.” 

“Any suggestions for keeping annoying summer insect pests away?”

“I put a baggie full of water over my porch’s screen door.  It’s supposed to keep gnats away.  It broke and somebody got drenched.”

“Any suggestions that work?”

“Not sure how well they work–citronella candles, dryer sheets, spray on, outdoor repellent.  Anyway, it makes people feel better–knowing they’ve done something.”

“So Marty, what you’re saying is, they’re really like placebos.”

“You know that’s right.”

“Coming up–weather gossip on the fives.”

For a Limited Time Only…

Save on gas

Get the last laugh

Don’t go broke

101 funny jokes

Tiny sea monkeys

Animal magnetism

Authoritarianism

Ventriloquism

X-Ray glasses

Chinchilla ranches

Learn latest dances

Emu feather bolsters

Concealed holsters

Rebuild a carburetor

Repair refrigerators

Instant gratification

Social stratification

Achieve your certification

How to meet girls

Make cakes with swirls

Cuteness overloads

Without going overboard

Sleep learning

Learning from lemons

Learn a language

Cash from garbage

Learn from home

Work from home

Build you own home

Pheromones

Metronomes

Become a phenomenon

Don’t be alone

Make your own drone

Mental notebooks

Mental alarms

Mental mastery

Mystery writers

Water swarming

Water warming

Water warnings

Allergy meditations

Herbal medications

Fatalism

Philatelists

The new feudalism?

 

What a Wacky Week

In Waynesboro, VA, a renegade cat shaver is on the loose.  Residents are perturbed, because pet cats have been captured, and returned with their bellies shaven.

It’s not only animal cruelty–it’s just plain weird.  Saving cats from cat shavers should not be on cat owner’s to-do lists.

Nordstrom’s marketed fashion jeans replete with fake mud stains for 425 per pair.  Do-it yourself jean muddying is free.  It’s done with pure mud from your own backyard–not with chemicals.

My current state of residence was featured on “The Daily Show” this week–complete with the usual stereotypes.  Rednecks, buffoonery, lots of politics.  Our governor was recently impeached after a year of denial.

About baiting game with jerky–funny skit, but not true.  We’ve got our share of weirdos, but doesn’t every other state?  My state of birth, currently has two ex-governors in lock-up.  What about Anthony Weiner?  Maybe your state’s governor just hasn’t been caught up with yet?

 

Spinning Out of Control

MOAB’s, FOAB’s

Parental acronyms

For ultimate weapons

Terminology seized upon

By capitalist opportunists

MOACS–mothers of all clearance sales

MOAP’s, FOAP’s–mothers, fathers of all pizzas

MOAPCS–Mother of all pre-owned car sales

Overplayed, until they became PM,F,OATTA

Pathetic mothers, fathers of all trite, tired, acronyms

I won’t even mention, except in passing

The poor folks in Moab, Utah

What must they be thinking?