What a Wacky Week

In Waynesboro, VA, a renegade cat shaver is on the loose.  Residents are perturbed, because pet cats have been captured, and returned with their bellies shaven.

It’s not only animal cruelty–it’s just plain weird.  Saving cats from cat shavers should not be on cat owner’s to-do lists.

Nordstrom’s marketed fashion jeans replete with fake mud stains for 425 per pair.  Do-it yourself jean muddying is free.  It’s done with pure mud from your own backyard–not with chemicals.

My current state of residence was featured on “The Daily Show” this week–complete with the usual stereotypes.  Rednecks, buffoonery, lots of politics.  Our governor was recently impeached after a year of denial.

About baiting game with jerky–funny skit, but not true.  We’ve got our share of weirdos, but doesn’t every other state?  My state of birth, currently has two ex-governors in lock-up.  What about Anthony Weiner?  Maybe your state’s governor just hasn’t been caught up with yet?

 

Just Goes to Show You

My watch band broke.  A tiny, little pin fell out. I’ve been looking at my bare wrist ever since.  Went to two jewelry stores to have it repaired.  Was referred to a third jeweler, some distance away that could possibly fix it.  I now have a new watch.

It’s the annual spring power, house wash.  Driveway, sidewalks, windows, walls freed from winter grime and mold.

The dogs are barking and growling at the intruder in their domain.  Now, it’s their nap time.

On the beach, blue dragons washed ashore.  What were blue dragons?  Blue dragons were really sea slugs.  “Blue Dragons” appealed to me more than did sea slugs.  Blue dragons diverted attentions away from recent shark sightings.

A rather large alligator was spotted in the busiest part of downtown.  It was captured by fire and rescue.  When did that become their job?  The gator was relocated and released.

It’s nearly summer here.  That’s when the creepy crawly creatures come out.  Another negative airline story, just today.  American Airlines took the heat off United Airlines.  Just goes to show you–it’s always something.

 

Spinning Out of Control

MOAB’s, FOAB’s

Parental acronyms

For ultimate weapons

Terminology seized upon

By capitalist opportunists

MOACS–mothers of all clearance sales

MOAP’s, FOAP’s–mothers, fathers of all pizzas

MOAPCS–Mother of all pre-owned car sales

Overplayed, until they became PM,F,OATTA

Pathetic mothers, fathers of all trite, tired, acronyms

I won’t even mention, except in passing

The poor folks in Moab, Utah

What must they be thinking?

 

 

RIP: J. Geils & Lots of Miscellaneous

I really didn’t care what his full given name was at the time.  It seemed odd that most media outlets mentioned popularity of his namesake band–only in the eighties.

For it was earlier, in the seventies that I was turned on, in a big way to this R & B, almost reggae–couldn’t sit still, hard-hitting, made me want to dance, band.

Give credit where credit’s due, but do yourselves a favor and check out “Those Bad Boys from Boston’s” “Live” Full House album from 1972.  You won’t regret it.  Still sounded good today.  Although listening as a 68 year old, it didn’t do my hearing and tinnitus any favors.

Other music news:  Bob Dylan’s hasn’t gone away–he finally stepped up and accepted his Nobel Peace Prize.

My two dogs are pouting because it’s flea and heartworm treatment day; medications administrated by yours truly.  In two hours all will be forgiven and forgotten.

When you’re trying to fake a vacation–too many people, I’ve observed, take work with them.  They never relax.

Good ways to waste time:  Whoever it is, stop sending me spam.  I don’t need any help in this department.

Great malls of the people:  Shopping malls all over the country are being boarded up.  Over expansion, and too much competition from the likes of Amazon.

I’ve always wanted to say this to someone consuming a bloody rare steak, but thought the better of it.  “Trust the autopsy is going well?”

Advice, I wish someone would have given me.  “Some day this won’t be enough.  Then it may be too late.”

Thick-headed as they came.  Aloof at the six-o’clock news.  This is Warren Burrows, reporting from somewhere in West Dictatorial, Africa.**

Still to come:  Rockabilly Rubik’s Cubes?  Could be the latest thing?

Masters of hype exercised their “nuclear options” again, with more comparisons to Hitler.  Comparing Abe Lincoln to Hitler?  I’m a pretty nice guy, compared to Hitler.  Knock it off with the Hitler comparisons.

My jury duty obligation has ended.  I was a “bridesmaid, not a bride”–as I was not selected for a trial.

Someone took umbrage with a post I made on another forum this week.  I thought the post was extremely innocuous.  They were more interested in picking a fight, than disagreeing with me.  I didn’t take the bait–as much as I wanted to call them out for their ignorance.

 

 

–Image, http://www.cdandlp.com/–

 

 

 

 

 

 

**There was no implication that the continent of Africa, was superior or inferior to any of the other seven continents.  Forms of government, or even countries without forms of government, vary throughout the world.  Different strokes for different folks.  Thick-headed” journalistic references were fictional, and not intended to impugn, or do harm.       

 

 

Whew–What a Week

The Crazola Conspiracy:  Crayola crayon company should be renamed for fixing what wasn’t broken.  The color “dandelion” kicked-out of its 24-pack.  A social media poll will select a replacement.  Did this mean,  the 24-pack would actually be a 23-pack in the interim?

This was strangely similar to Hasbro’s, Monopoly game piece shuffle stunt.

Whoops–there goes another conspiracy giraffe.  Some, are now convinced that April, the allegedly pregnant giraffe, is just another in a growing list of conspiracies.

Yee Haw–Bovine terror in North County:  Mid-week, my daughter was detained from leaving work, by escaped cattle from a slaughterhouse.  Cattle roamed the parking lot, until law enforcement rounded them up.  None of the law seemed eager to get out of their vehicles.

Why did some folks mute the sound track on commercials?  Commercials were frequently more entertaining than regular TV prime-time programming.

Dropped mikes:  Verizon’s spokesperson’s mike dropping sales pitch I found annoying.  I got the points–just not the dropped microphones.

Overused movie quotes:  AT&T was vying for most annoying commercial of the year, with its “movie quote guy.”  If I hear, monotone “Bueller, Bueller” just one more time!

Just to keep warm–or something more sinister?  Transients built a fire under a section of Atlanta’s busy I-85 corridor, causing damage, and major traffic delays in the foreseeable future.

The Brand New Stephen King Conspiracy:  Which I’m starting immediately–pass it on.  An entire generation is deathly afraid of clowns.  It’s Stephen King’s fault.

Ronald McDonald is exiled, till wackos in clown suits stop jumping out of the woods and scaring the unsuspecting populace.

You want more proof?  Stephen King convinced us spirits could communicate with us through our television sets.

Vintage Plymouth Fury automobiles with tail fins went on murderous killing sprees–  Stephen King’s fault.

Empty hotels made lonely writers go insane.  Weren’t those twin girls creepy?

After Cujo, nobody looked at Rottweilers the same, ever again.

It’s not that I don’t like Stephen King.  Who can you trust?  You can trust Stephen King to spin a good scary yarn.  He’s too good, for his own good.  It’s all Stephen King’s fault.

 

If You Were Paying Attention This Week

Baby, baby, baby–where’s the giraffe baby?  Baby, baby, oh baby–next week, maybe? The same giraffe’s been pregnant since 2015–what?

A giant chicken is allegedly scaring folks all over the world-wide web.  Who’s afraid of the big bad rooster?  Not I, said the Little Red Hen.

The “human Ken doll” guy had a few more surgeries.  What’s a few more, when there have already been so many?

Wonder Woman’s new edition was up to her armpits in controversy.  Had she, or hadn’t she?  Couldn’t wrap my head around that one.

Some countries cared how their rivers flowed; granted them the same rights as humans.  If this was to prevent pollution–then, I’m for it.  The cynic in me wondered if they would be subjected to taxation.

Flip or Flop TV stars had more problems.  Meanwhile, it was announced which of our favorite shows would flip into next season–which ones flopped.

My favorite TV mechanic, Edd China, from Velocity’s “Wheeler Dealers” is leaving the show.  Saddest news since Jeremy Clarkson & Company left “Top Gear.”

Shaq’s world wasn’t flat.  That was just a joke.

 

 

From the Boneyard

H. H. Gregg and Applebees, latest discards, tossed on the growing rubble pile of failed/failing franchises. Regurgitated from murky waters of competition, public tastes, balance sheets drowned in red ink.

Shining new faces atop the trash heap, fade in relentless summer suns, until washed away into the recesses of memory.  Forgotten by most, except for a few nostalgia freaks, such as myself; waiting to spring out on some obscure trivia night.  From dusty shelves, some reporters reaching for ratings, will find fodder for another “whatever happened to?” story to fill a slow news day.

The cemetery of fallen franchises grows ever larger.  Still more are on the critical list–Sears and K-Mart come to mind.  May the fallen rest in peace.  I wish the rest safe passage on their way to franchise Valhalla.

Franchises failed for various reasons.  Why Outback Steak House couldn’t make it locally is still a mystery.  Speaking from my little corner of the world–what was with the proliferation of restaurants offering chicken fingers?  “To franchise gurus, venture capitalists, wherever you may happen to be–help, we’re drowning in chicken finger restaurants down here!”

–image, http://www.jsfburgerchef.homestead.com/–