Knock-Knock Who’s There…

Knock-knock who’s there?

Knick-knacks, knackwurst

Don’t like it?  Don’t knock it

Tired punchlines–nobody cared

Lost among receding hairlines

Expanding waistlines

Figures of speech

Nobody under thirty understood

Fedora hats replaced

By baseball caps worn backward

By those aspiring to be hip and cool

Gomer Pyle, Satch from the Bowery Boys

Sported askew caps and portrayed fools

 

Overthinking Is Never Done

It was 97, a few days ago.  Finally, some cool autumn mornings are on the way.  Max, the wonder dog will be happy.  Mosquitos and gnats will be gone somewhere else.

This morning, illuminated by flashlight, was a black plastic fork in the road.  “When you come to a fork in the road–take it.”  Thanks Yogi for the suggestion,  but I’ll politely decline.  It appeared to have crusted food on it.

Speaking of Yogi Berra, there’s a family connection.  My first cousin, once removed, attended high school with Yogi.  She grew up in the same neighborhood as Yogi, Joe Garagiola, and Harry Caray.

When it comes to some tech–I’m mentally challenged.  My goal as I age is to simplify my life.  Are there Cliff’s Notes or Tech for Dummies books out there?  There’s an answer for everything on the internet–whether it’s right or not.

Just in time for Thanksgiving; canned pumpkin isn’t really pumpkin.  What?  Apparently, it is mostly butternut squash, because of the smoother texture.  What’s wrong with texture in food?  That’s why I like pears-because of their grainy texture.

I’ve uncluttered my mind for another day.  It’s OK, I’ll just clutter it up again.

Uneasy–Easy Bake Ovens

premier_model_easy_bake_ovenThis is a follow-up to my original “Easy Bake Oven” expose, written  September 2011.  The familiar toy was formerly powered by heat from incandescent light bulbs.

Incandescent bulbs have been phased out–replaced by compact fluorescent and LED bulbs; which put out little heat energy.  To the disappointment of children and parents everywhere.

A favorite toy for decades–if not a messy one.  First made by Kenner–now by Hasbro.  The Hasbro Company, came out with an updated version of the toy–sans light bulbs.

This one has a heating element, and is priced at 49.99, instead of 29.99.  No doubt the price has gone up since then.  It’s enough to make a person wax nostalgic for one of those gooey little cakes.

What do you want to bet–revised “Easy Bake Ovens,” burn as much energy as the old ones with incandescent bulbs?  Of course, it has always been about the children–wink, wink.

 

–image, http://www.wikipedia.org/

Let Madness Reign

For normal, nine to fivers, this is the beginning of the weekend.  In this household it’s the beginning of madness associated with preparations for entertaining house guests, or leaving for a trip out-of-town.  The madness is the same.

Everything is topsy-turvy for days on end.  Planning in detail for sleeping accommodations,  menus, activities, home decor updates–and, on and on.

That’s just inside the house. The yard and patio also have to be perfect.

To keep my sanity–comic relief in the form of headlines, then highlights from my spam folder.

  • Two well-known celebrities were rescued from an elevator.  A revolving door would have been funnier.
  • A person that’s been in the headlines a lot this year, was questioned about their aloof appearance.  Perhaps fewer goofy questions from reporters might have helped?
  • There’s, yet another, new portrayal of the late Colonel Sanders.  The real Colonel, founder of KFC, rests in a cemetery plot.  Should there be any doubt, KFC, is still Kentucky Fried Chicken–the original Colonel’s secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

In spite of fierce competition, there was a winner.  My spam folder took on, an even more, international flavor.  There were two entries written in Chinese characters, two in Spanish, one in Portuguese.

Jacelyn–if that is indeed the person’s real name?  It didn’t matter, anyway.  A verbal barrage, attempted to flatter; sucker me into clicking on a specific URL, took up almost an entire page.

Rarely have I seen such an extreme case of verbal diarrhea, that had no beginning, no end, and nothing in the middle.

Happy Daze

A recent click-bait headline, “15 Songs That Brought People Out of Comas.”

Some of these I recognized.  The remaining ones wouldn’t do anything, if I were to be in an unconscious state.

Which led to the bigger issue–there were songs that could possibly induce a comatose state of mind.  I’m at least a generation removed from current pop music.  There have to be 15 current examples.

Toxic waste of the pop music world?  Pop music jive turkeys?  “Surfin’ Bird” by the Trashmen, immediately came to mind.

Getting back on topic–songs from the sixties, seventies, and earlier, guaranteed to not bring me out of a coma.  Not because these weren’t good or popular songs, but rather, because they weren’t upbeat.

Alone Again Naturally

One Is the Loneliest Number

Feelings

In My Room

That’s Life, by Frank Sinatra–because of the lyrics, “…I’m going to crawl in a big hole and die–My My.”

Is That All There Is?

Last Kiss

Mr. Lonely

Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald

The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down

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Ten was enough to make a point.  If these were the best they could do–I’d just as soon remain comatose–thank you.  Songs with barely intelligible lyrics, due to the likelihood the bands were in a semi-comatose state, were not included.