Coincidence? Or Not?

My Thanksgiving with extended family was without any major incidents. There was a minor disagreement over who did/didn’t like pecan pie.

Prior to the feast, I chatted with my granddaughter’s fiancée. The discussion turned to favorite television comedies. Arjan is a personable young man from the Netherlands.

I liked some of the war-themed programs–especially those about WWII. “Hogan’s Heroes,” was one of my favorites. Even though, there was little about it that resembled actual wartime conditions.

There weren’t many American TV shows that made it to the Netherlands, reported my young friend, however, many BBC programs came his way. I liked to watch BBC programs that came over local PBS stations in the seventies and eighties.

“Monty Python’s Flying Circus, Fawlty Towers, Keeping Up Appearances, Have You Been Served?,” Just to name a few. Arjan was impressed by my complete VHS “Fawlty Towers” collection.

One of Arjan’s favorite BBC comedies, was “‘Allo, ‘Allo.” The more he described, the unfamiliar program, the more I wanted to check it out. It seemed to contain the proper amount of absurd, silly humor that I craved.

There were characters that spoke English in different dialects–French, German, Spanish, Italian. Of course, when characters spoke dialects, the others not fluent in that language, did not understand conversations–even though it was still English. That aspect of the comedy was similar to “Hogan’s Heroes,” and other American TV shows of that genre.

Which seemed strange to me today, when “‘Allo, ‘Allo” episode videos popped up on my You Tube. I’d never done a search of any kind. There had only been verbal discussions.

Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised, Spam Bots were everywhere? Were they that good?  If I looked up railway crashes, there would be numerous pop-ups for “Click here for best, cheapest, railway crashes in your area.”

Around the Water Cooler

A cool Saturday morning.  Saturday’s are good days for housecleaning, and catching up on any other things that need to be done.

Since I am retired, there is no longer any water cooler gossip.  There are several topics, deserving discussion this morning.

A man in India is suing his parents, for them giving him birth, without his permission.  He claims to be an “Anti natalist” which by definition would mean he’s against birth.  I wonder if his parents now regret giving him birth?

B-I-N-G-O, and Bingo was his name-O.  When did bingo become a contact sport?  A Canadian nursing home is on lockdown after a bingo game turned into an all-out brawl.

There is actually a Northern Alabama semi-pro baseball team named, the  “Trash Pandas.”  This name selected from others, in a contest to name the team.  Toledo Mud Hens, Birmingham Biscuits, step aside.

Whatever happened to the criminal, known as the “Renegade cat shaver?” Animal cruelty is certainly not funny.  In many cases it’s smoke from the deeper fires of psychosis.

Remakes of movies and TV shows, I sometimes find amusing.  Especially the ones, that weren’t that good the first time around.  The latest proposed remake–“Beverly Hills 90210.”  My remake suggestion, “Beverly Hillbillies 90210.”  A two-for-one special.

 

ARNOLD ZIFFEL–MORE THAN BACON?

arnold 3

Fans of Arnold Ziffel, the famed Green Acres pig, are taking legal action, to trademark the name “Arnold,” Arnold the Pig,” and “Arnold Ziffel.”  Frances Gingham, president of the FAZ Fan Club, and Arnold Ziffel Enterprises, had this to say, “We’re doing this to honor the original Arnold and her descendants.  He was really a she–you know.”

“As true Green Acres fans would tell you–Arnold made the show.  What other show in television history featured such a charismatic, talented pig?  The only one that even came close, was Wilbur from “Charlotte’s Web.”  Wilbur may have been “some pig,” but he didn’t have a prime time sitcom.”

“Future plans include filing suit against Arnold, MO–and any other ‘Arnolds,’ as we see fit, for trademark infringement.  No other Chester White piglets–except those from the original bloodlines, should ever be named Arnold.  It’s the least we can do for Arnold,” Mrs, Gingham said. “Until they cease and desist–we will do what’s necessary to achieve our ends.”

Arnold, MO mayor, Greg Fillmore, said in response,  “Yes, I heard about it.  I think it’s ridiculous.  The city of Arnold existed long before there was an Arnold the Pig.  Arnold the Pig may have brought home the bacon for CBS back in the sixties; that doesn’t mean we have to kowtow to such unreasonable demands.”

“Tell Ms. Gingham and her group, that we’re nice people, here in Arnold, MO–but, we don’t like to be messed with!  Why was Arnold Ziffel, any more significant, than Mr. Ed, the talking horse?  Wile-E-Coyote and the Roadrunner were funnier. They had me laughing from the jump.”

“As a conciliatory gesture, we’re not opposed to honoring the legendary porcine entertainer.  Instead of getting involved in a legal wrangle–maybe we should capitalize on our cities’ name?  We could bring everything here.  The Midwest has plenty of hog farms.  An Arnold the Pig statue in the center of town would bring in tourists.”

“A Green Acres Museum, featuring Arnold Ziffel, as the centerpiece would be nice–too.  And while we’re at it–why not have a Hooterville theme park, with the Shady Rest Hotel. Sam Drucker’s store, a railroad, and steam locomotive?  We could also have an Arnold the Pig Day during Autumn Apple Festival.”

Mayor Fillmore was passionate–as was, FAZ President Gingham.  I suppose all animal actors deserve their due. Entertainers bring out the best and worst in people.  We’ll have to wait and see what happens with Arnold.

There once happened to be, an Addams Family, arachnid actor–Wednesday Addam’s, creepy favorite spider, named Homer. That was a little too much for me.  Professional performing pigs aren’t that unusual.  Carnivals, circuses, county fairs, have an extensive performing animal history.  And there was, “Flipper,” a gregarious, sitcom dolphin.  However, I may pitch the theme park idea–when I’m back in Hollywood.

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Dana Chalupa, “Entertainment Newsbit,” Imaginary News Network, Hollywood©

HERE’S TO CLEAN AND COLORFUL EXPRESSIONS

Where have “Aw Shucks”
“Fiddlesticks,” “Dad Gum Its,”
“Dag Nab Its,” “Ding-Dang Its,”
“Doggone Its,” “Cockamamies”
And, “Oh, Fudges” gone?

“For the Love of Pete,”
They could be anywhere
“Crying Out Loud in a Bucket”
Playing “Horse Hockey”
Pulling “Shenanigans”
With other “Hooligans”

“Catching flies with honey
Instead of vinegar”
“Tending watched pots
That never boiled”
“Chasing rolling stones
That gathered no moss”

“Gott im Himmel”
“Ach du Lieber Gott”
“Criminetly”, or “For Criminy Sakes”
When were the “Lolligaggers”
And “Fussbudgets,” going to stop
Their “Tomfoolery” and “Clippity-Clap?”

“Dink Fods,” “Rat Finks,”
And “Dinkledorfs” hung out
With other “Goofuses”
“Doofuses, “Dip Sticks”
“Lazy Bones,” and “Bone Heads”

Watched evening news
With “Hardly Reasonable”
And “Wally Crankcase”
Sported scented “Stink Pretties”
Old Spice, Aqua Velva, and Hai Karate

“Jumping Jiminies,” “Jehosaphats”
Were “Slower Than Smoke”
“Nuttier than Fruitcakes”
But, they didn’t let
Any of it, go to their heads.
Except–when they had
The “Molygrumps” and
Couldn’t get their
“Lard Butts” out of bed