Aunt Jeanette, Cousin Jack, your sister Dawn, baby Zack
Come in, sit down, it’s been awhile, just stay calm, relax and smile
You’ve gained weight, lost your hair, It doesn’t matter, they don’t care
You’re an adult, it seems silly, why did Uncle Bob still call you Willie?
Calmness that wouldn’t last, too much embarrassment from your past
Misspent youth, crazy friends, the same things, again and again
You’re wondering will your Uncle Lou, bring up about the cat and the glue?
It didn’t matter that you were only eight, no explaining ever set him straight
The time you were going to be a Moonie, and you drove both your parents loony
Past goofy ideas to get rich quick, nicknames, thank God, that didn’t stick
It doesn’t matter where you live, what you make, whether you have what it takes
Of you we’re still quite fond, because we have a common bond
We’re your family and will be forever, through thick and thin, we’ll stick together
From the time you were greeted, whatever you’ve done, no explanation was needed!