Missing Woman Found Living Under Back Porch

Today, at breakfast, Shirley had more to say about what happened last March.

“Can I call you Shirley?”

“I guess you can. That’s my name, ain’t it?”

“In spite of what you heard from Marge Sandiford–I’m not crazy; I’m not a hero ; I’m a survivor. I was a survivor before the textile plant closed, and will be after.”

“Don’t make me out to be things I’m not. I don’t need no help. Except, I would like to get Mugwump back.”

“I don’t have anything against the Sandifords. They’re good people. That’s why I picked them. I knew they wouldn’t bother me.”

“If I had money, I’d pay them something for their trouble. But, I don’t. That’s how I got in this mess. That’s why you’re here.”

“You’re here for a story–which is your way of making money.”

“Where was your shirt made? Just like I thought–made overseas.”

“You’re not the only one. Can’t hardly buy anything made in this country anymore–even if you wanted to.”

“If I was President, I’d do something about it. I’m not and ain’t likely to ever be.”

itinerantneerdowell

Sheriff’s deputies answered a disturbance call in Clarke county, West Texas, only to find a squatter residing under a back porch.

There they discovered a sizeable room with borrowed electricity, crude storage tanks for water.  The walls appeared to be constructed from pallets, scrap lumber, and cardboard.  Packed clay made up the floor, which had been excavated; allowing a person of short stature to stand.

Shirley Fineguard hadn’t been seen for a number of years.  It was assumed she moved away after a local textile plant closed.

“We were completely shocked the way it turned out,”  Said homeowner W. E. Sandiford of Metford–a small town near Amarillo.

“I thought it was critters,” Said Mrs. Sandiford.  “My Lord, why would somebody want to live like that?  You know how hot and dusty it gets around here in the summer.

“There are good folks here–church going people.  We would have helped her.  Well, in a way, I guess we already did; Miss Shirley lived…

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Between the Lines

I suspect that many times we don’t like things–not because of what they are, but rather, because of the packages they came in.

This also applies to people and their messages. Would you rather listen to me–a balding, overweight, senior citizen. Or, Jenna Elfman–you know, Dharma, from “Dharma and Greg.”

Corporations change packaging constantly. Brighter, bolder, graphics, shout New!, Improved!, Better than ever before! Are you like me–suspicious? Same old product inside, with new clothes?

Something that isn’t same old, same old is our weather.  Winter storm warnings are up for the Gulf Coast.

It’s uncommon, but not a rarity to see snow here.  Most of it will melt before hitting the ground.  TV weatherpersons have been busy.  An hour or so north of here, there has been a light snow dusting.  Nothing to get bent out of shape over.

From the Far Fringes

  • Great lengths for laughs
  • With your mind in mind
  • It paid to be paranoid
  • Less was more/more or less
  • Careful when drinking and driving
  • Were you going to eat that?
  • Why, did you hear something?
  • “My tortilla”–sung to the tune of “My Sharona”
  • Funny typos–like Moohead, Minnesota
  • Top drawer conclusions, without facts
  • Clocks with no hands kept on chiming
  • Tales from when everything was rusty
  • Why couldn’t we celebrate sameness?
  • One-stop shopping, without nagging consequences
  • Don’t you already have everything you need?
  • Secrets of the ancient mummies
  • Do you have this in strawberry?
  • Through with not being believed–If I could only believe that
  • Why were you still here?

Weird Ways With Words

Everyone hates to be put on hold. With horrible hypnotic background music. A place frequently called, had Vivaldi’s “Four Seasons” playing in the background. I never made it to summer, fall, and winter–which was a good thing.

I’ve been on both sides of the issue, as a customer service rep, and as a customer.  On hold commercials for the companies’ products and services, were particularly despised.

“Your call is important to us. All of our representatives are currently with other customers. Please continue to hold and we be with you as soon as possible.”

What if a large corporation adopted something different–as follows?

We care because we care

We care because you’re there

We care because we care

We care–are you still there?

We’re there because we care

We’re sad when you’re not here

Zero For Three

The quest continues a year later. Eggs for me. Pancakes for the wife with fruit topping–not syrup, preferably strawberries.

The same thing, all over again. Except for Grumpy’s. Grumpy’s restaurant closed down. Maybe he was just too grumpy?

itinerantneerdowell

Sunday morning breakfast has been a tradition for as long as we’ve been a couple.

Not that chain restaurants aren’t good in their own rights. When the same entrees become old and tired, it’s time to find something new.

Last Sunday, we drove by two local, diner-type restaurants–they were both closed. Back to good old Cracker Barrel for usual fare.

Today, an old favorite, known for comfort food, let me down. Formerly, they had breakfast buffets on weekends. They were open, and we were the only, early morning diners.

It seems in the last nine years, due to the economy, the Sunday breakfast buffet was no more. They still were open with a lunch buffet on weekdays.

The quest continues for a mom-and-pop local breakfast restaurant–within a 20 mile radius.  Food, prepared with love–because love conquers all.

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Another One-Size-Fits-All Rant

Too bad Chip and Joanna Gaines decided to fold up their tent and discontinue the popular “Fixer Upper” TV show.

I liked their show–even though I know a lot of it was staged drama. Just hammering nails and ripping out old boards would not have been interesting.

What I’m wondering about is the lasting effect after they’re gone? They inspired so many people to install barn door track and ship lap inside their homes.

Not that I have anything thing against either of these things. Everything looks good in its place. Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but many imitators get carried away to the point of mockery.

Why cover an expensive full-sized oil painting with sliding cross buck barn doors when the artist intended for it to be seen? Ship lap is fine on an accent wall, but not on every wall, in every room. I still think barn door, sliding  tracks are best for real barn doors–as they were intended. These fads will fade away like the others before, and the ones to come.

Although, I’m somewhat shocked at the renewed popularity of wallpaper.  Wasn’t that trend over after the shockingly garish flocked, and foil wallpapers of the seventies?  However, I am and have always been a fan of pocket doors.

 

Money, Money, Money

We all have to have it. Whether we have enough or not–unless we practice the barter system exclusively. Jacksons Browne’s lyrical description, “I’m going to be a happy idiot, struggle for the legal tender…”

What are some slang terms for money? Here are a few–not a comprehensive list by any means.

  • Shekels
  • Cabbage
  • Smackers
  • Moolah
  • Loot
  • Guineas
  • Dough
  • Filthy lucre–Biblical reference, money, as being, “the root of all evil.”
  • Bones
  • Quid
  • Bankrolls
  • Scratch
  • Dinero
  • Geld
  • Benjamins
  • Lincolns
  • Dead Presidents
  • Greenbacks
  • Simoleans
  • Bread
  • Bucks, Sawbucks, Buckaroos, Buckarinos
  • Clams
  • Green, Long Green
  • Loot
  • Bread
  • Wad
  • Notes
  • Cream
  • Eagles–as in “the eagle flies on (payday) Friday night”