Organization, Please

It’s a good thing one of us is better organized. I’m more of a “go with the flow” type guy–unless things get too far out of control.

My wife is doing federal and state income taxes today. Something she seems to enjoy doing, and gets totally caught up in the process, till the very end.

Me, I would go H&R Block, or one of the other well-known tax preparation firms. Receipts for the year would be stashed away in a shoebox. Not a filing cabinet, but it always worked.

Not that I’m complaining, because the opposite–complete disorganization drives me berserk. I find it hard to understand those that seem to be on their own timetables, march to their own drummers,

Something Worth Saving

He always said hurtful things

That came from feeling feckless and angry

There was good and bad in everything–Doris thought

Searched the pages–read between lines and wrinkles

Until they looked elsewhere for what was missing in each other’s eyes

What good was a kingdom without the freedom to do what Dwight wanted?

He made compromises, because it was the only way to make things work

The way we were was the way we were; why we said the things we said

They made mistakes–fell far short of perfection

Had each other, that was enough

He’d follow Doris anywhere

 

A TISKET, A TASKET–A GREEN & YELLOW BRACKET

You must have a bracket for club admission.  Those without brackets are not eligible to participate in discussions or activities.  Participants are expected to have a basic knowledge of the NCAA playoff system.  Brackets may be purchased online at http://www.bracket.com or by calling 1-800-B-R-A-C-K-E-T (1-800-272-2538).

March marks the beginning of a self-imposed exile.  Basketball and I have never been friends.  The relationship doomed from the start.  Excellence in sports, because of deficits in coordination and confidence, never came to pass.  If there were an award for attaining the most fouls–I would have won it.

Sports enthusiasts, caught up in March Madness, assume others share their level of enthusiasm.  Thank goodness, I’m retired, and no longer forced to listen to incessant bracket chatter.  I don’t begrudge anyone following their passion.

I would just as soon be locked up with computer geeks and hear tech-speak for the duration.  At least I could contribute to the conversation.  I could throw out some gems about grid-dip oscillators, capacitors, resistors, pnp, and npn transistors.  From there, to Tesla coils, Ohm’s law and practical applications–discussed over coffee and crullers.

As a standing offer to any March Madness aficionado–I’ll listen to your sports blather, in exchange for meaningful dialogue, on why musicians have an affinity for tube amps; why vinyl records are still popular in the digital age.

I wish I could go down Alice in Wonderland’s rabbit hole till it’s over.  Because, I’ll have no peace when my spouse’s daytime dramas and prime-time favorites are preempted.

Why do they (the networks) assume everyone’s interested?

Because they don’t care–it’s what pays for air time and sells commercials.  There are other people who like it.  It’s big business.

They should put their big business somewhere else–like where the sun doesn’t shine, on the obscure channels.  There are plenty of boring sports events on TV already.

Well, it won’t last forever.  We’ve got lots of stuff piled up on our digital recording gadget thingy.

It seems to start earlier and end later every year.  And right after, comes tennis.  Anyway, I’m glad football season’s finally over.

“Yes, Dear,” I’ll answer–knowing the storm will soon blow over.  I happen to like football.  Once again, I’ll get by without a bracket to my name.

DEPARTMENT STORE DROPS SUBTLE HINT

dept store 2

William B. Stanton IV, owner and CEO of the Milford, Connecticut based Stanton-Weaver Department store chain, at a press conference today, announced the discontinuation of their “Subtle Hints” initiative.

“It was an innovative idea, that just didn’t come into fruition,”  Mr. Stanton explained.  “Board Chairman, Don Fletcher, and the rest of the directorship, conceived it, as a valuable asset to our “Wedding Registry.”

“After all, males of the species, sometimes need help remembering important events–like anniversaries, birthdays, meetings, and the like.  Perhaps “Subtle Hints” should go in new direction.  Because the message didn’t get through.  As of today, “Subtle Hints” are a thing of the past”

“Our “Subtle Hints” platform existed in various forms–cards, small figurines with messages.  Some items had embedded, digitally recorded music or messages.  These were to be placed in strategic locations, for the errant to find.  Like in golf bags and fishing tackle boxes,” Mr. Stanton continued.  Quite frankly, they were a flop.

“Don, would you explain for us?”  “First of all, I’d like to say how excited we were when this first started,” Don said.  “We had high hopes.  To our surprise, things looked promising initially–till, the bottom fell out.”

“Guys, there will be NO MORE “SUBTLE HINTS!  Our customer survey answers were quite revealing.  Please pick up a copy of  meeting highlights and customer survey results near the main entrances.”

Mrs. S., “My husband, the lazy bum, never gets off the couch.  How’s he going to take a hint?  And by the way–he hasn’t worked in three years.”

Ellen T., “This whole idea is too subtle.  Why would my husband read a ‘Subtle Hints’ reminder card, to remind him of something he’s supposed to remember?  He can’t remember to put down the toilet seat and lift the lid.  He can’t remember to take out the trash.  That’s just crazy.”

Ashley M., “The only thing that would get my lunkhead boyfriend’s attention, is a cartoon jack-in-the-box with a big boxing glove on a spring–or maybe, a cold beer.”

Mr. Lonnie T., “I didn’t appreciate the, “Remem-mem, mem-member, Remem-mem-ber song, Beach Boys, Chuck Berry, or Michael Jackson style.  Whatever it was supposed to be–a singing chicken, popped out of my briefcase during a board meeting.  It was the most asinine, cockamamie, thing I’ve ever seen.  I was totally humiliated.”

“So there you have it–the battle of the sexes goes on,” Mr. Stanton concluded.  “And, as much as I hate to admit it–perhaps we were too subtle.  Stanton-Weaver will continue to respond to the changing needs of our valued customers.  Thank you for being here–that’s all for today.”