And In Other News…

Cuteness Overlords
The Quail You Say
Quite Another Organic Matter
Why Everyone Doesn’t Like the Same Old Things
Ceramic and Other French Poverty
Lemon Venom–What a Phenomenon
On That Farm He Had a Dog–D-A-W-G
Keeping It Down–Testing Gag Reflexes
Awaiting Dreadful Fall
Stashed Away In Drawers
Think Backward From One To Ten
Science Behind Everyday Appliances
Invisible Solar Eclipses
Seize the Moment Midstream
Another New Wrinkle
Headlights and Other Illuminations
Behind the Scenes, Seldom Seen

Words That Stuck Around

Lots of letters–of course
Enough vowels to avoid confusion
Could be blissful, wistful, strong
Not likely to be wasted words
Describing persons, places, things
Peppered with apostrophes
To mark missing letters
Hyphens were popular
As were, compound words
Wait a minute–I said as I pondered
What I’d just written was absurd
Words weren’t supposed to be
Compounded to confound
The best words were those
Used in casual conversations
Not those hard to remember

From the Clutter Of a Disheveled Mind

I missed the era when euphemisms, metaphors, and, even, mixed metaphors proliferated.  It took creativity to come up with some of them–blind hogs, acorns; horses led to water; the art of catching flies with honey, instead of vinegar.  People talked around things instead of going straight for the jugular.

It was a dreamlike state–watching silent movies with captions.  For some odd reason–I knew when it would rain.  What to do when people ran out of crutches to lean on?  What would bowling on the moon be like?

You would be surprised to learn–as I was.  Prognosis, everyone was waiting for payday–it was only Wednesday.  The diagnosis was hypnosis.  What was that out the window?  It was a fog bow.  And, you didn’t know?  Open another box of “try not to act surprised.”

Generic People

I’m convinced there are generic people–substitutions for the real thing, put on earth to resemble other people. Almost as good as the real thing, sometimes the match is exact to the point of one asking, “Don’t I know you from somewhere? Aren’t you Roger Jackson, SJHS, class of ’82?”

“You must be mistaken. I’ve never seen you before in my life,” Replied the irritated stranger. Any conversation beyond that point would have been considered stalking.

In this crazy mix of doppelgängers, the generic person’s destiny was fulfilled. Near-matches destined to embarrass–create moments of awkwardness.

There’s also the possibility both parties were generic and not about to reveal their true purposes.

Of course there are those lucky/unlucky enough to resemble celebrities.  They work for talent agencies as celebrity doubles.

There’s supposed to be a double for everyone, out there somewhere.  Nobody cares if one resembles Joe or Jane Schmo from Anywhere, USA.

Insane Word Games

Napoleon Bonybutt

Elfin John, and someone

named, Elvis Davis

in a bit of lunacy

stumbled over

stigma enigmas

walruses, stigmasauruses

the twinge–not, just one

there were two of them

they wanted three

lightning stripes

patterns and stripes

tried on for sighs

nothing too loose

nothing to lose

run-on sentences

ran on-and-on

last chance for change

missed–because, they did

everything wrong

and that was all-there was

Rodney Dangerfield Tribute

If the late, great, old-school comedian were still here–he might have this to say.

“No respect…I get no respect.  Went to the Kentucky Derby–bet on this horse to win.  I shoulda known better.  What kind of name is Nyquil for a horse–anyway?  It fell asleep at the finish line.  …Pa–rump, bump…”



Think Magical

Most magicians waved their wands in the air

Astounded with amazing feats of prestidigitation

Made mesmerized subjects dance in their underwear

Convinced others to cluck like chickens

If I had a magic wand to wave

And it were up to me

I’d make folks happy

With what they already had

Give them, what they

Didn’t know they needed