Only In Movies Or On TV (Cut the Red Wire)

  • Phone traces never worked.  There was never enough time–even in this era of advanced technology.
  • Criminal suspects always headed to roofs of multi-story buildings. The last door would always be unlocked. There he or she would, either be apprehended, or attempt suicide by jumping.
  • Main characters, pursued by villains in cars, ran down the middle of streets.
  • Locks could be picked in a few seconds. Otherwise, a few gun shots to the doorknob, sufficed. Doors are easily bashed in with linebacker moves, or swift kicks.  Deadbolt locks don’t exist.
  • In war movies, guys displaying pictures of wives or girlfriends, died tragically.
  • Strange noises from possible home invaders are never investigated silently.  Instead, with announcements of “Who’s there?, Is someone there?, Larry, is that you?  Is this one of your jokes? If it is you–this is not funny.”
  • Investigative weapons of choice: Baseball bats, fireplace pokers, and golf clubs.
  • City police resented the presence of “foreign” law enforcement officers.
  • There is no honor among thieves.  Someone will turn state’s evidence if the price is right.
  • In police dramas, security cameras are readily available.
  • Air conditioning ceiling ducts, miraculously held the weight of humans passing through.
  • Private conversations in large rooms are never overheard.
  • Automobiles driven, without drivers watching roadways–allowed for better conversations.
  • Older model cars would most likely be wrecked.
  • When bombs or explosives needed to be defused–cut the red wire.

 

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Near the Borderline

The borderline is a good thing if you’re hankering for some Taco Bell.

If your cholesterol is borderline–fast food’s not a good choice.  My annual physical is a little over a week away.

The gist of all this–I have to consume only poultry and fish, between now and then.

Starting after tonight’s roast pork loin dinner, with German potato salad, baked beans, and marinated coleslaw.

Time will tell if my dietary efforts pay off.

Another dietary concern involves my dog, Max.  He certainly isn’t starving for food.  Last night and today, I’ve caught him with baby turtles in his mouth.

They weren’t the sea-dwelling type, but rather, some species of land tortoise.  In any case, they deserved a chance to grow into turtle adulthood.

Should I Stay, Or Should I Go?

Imagine if you will, drinking the liquid and gloppy stuff from your sixties lava lamp.

A bar in Australia featured colorful cocktails with gloppy liquid “floaty” stuff. I don’t know how they got the floaters to move randomly. Thanks, but no thanks.

Another tropical weather system is churning in the Southern Gulf. It may come here as a class #1 hurricane or tropical storm. This has been a busy season.

Probably will not evacuate. May put up storm panels on the windows. Losing electrical power would be the biggest inconvenience. In any case, this will happen this coming Saturday, and more likely Sunday. Wish me luck.

Words That Stuck Around

Lots of letters–of course
Enough vowels to avoid confusion
Could be blissful, wistful, strong
Not likely to be wasted words
Describing persons, places, things
Peppered with apostrophes
To mark missing letters
Hyphens were popular
As were, compound words
Wait a minute–I said as I pondered
What I’d just written was absurd
Words weren’t supposed to be
Compounded to confound
The best words were those
Used in casual conversations
Not those hard to remember

Some Catching Up To Do

Another birthday came and went. Birthday cakes aren’t large enough to hold the required number of candles.

The younger set is impatient to age, the older set wishes aging would slow down.

Visited with friends over a long weekend. Many enjoyable highlights. Scars from last year’s tragic fires were still present in Gatlinburg and Smoky Mountain NP.

Ridges covered with bare trees, stark skeletons of burned-out homes and cabins. Hilltops bulldozed over–some decided to rebuild, others took insurance settlements, and left.

Went deep undercover in Tennessee Vols country Saturday.  No one was the wiser.  Faithful fans cheered for positive yardage; fell silent during penalties in a very lackluster game with UMass.

The two mutts were glad to be released from incarceration at the kennel on our return.  Their lockup due to their incompatibility with felines.

One morning in the restroom, I was startled when one of the male cats jumped from behind the shower curtain.  The other, growled from concealment.  Thankfully, the conflict didn’t escalate, while I was in a compromised position.

Max and Maggie would be disappointed to know, while they were kenneled, we were visiting with cats.  It will remain a secret.

What About the Warranty?

Arrgh! My watch band broke. Where was the receipt? Found it. Purchase date, April 22nd, of the current year. Warranty disclaimers had more holes than the Titanic.

Went to the place of purchase. They were more helpful, than expected; temporarily fixed the band, till the correct pins arrived by mail.

The worn-out vacuum bit the big one and went to dead appliance Valhalla.

Much to do before escaping for an extended weekend with friends. Did I mention the riding mower battery failed before mowing the lawn? It failed to hold a charge–four-years old. It’s been hard to keep ahead of the broken stuff lately.

That Was Quite a Week

Got my new glasses Friday. Seeing clearly, once again, was a good thing. Those that followed this blog knew I broke them Saturday, a week ago.

It’s gone from summer to fall, and back again to summer, in one short week. Influenced by those crazy nuts–Harvey and Irma.

Anyone with pets will attest to the difficulties of vacuuming pet hair. Our old vacuum succumbed, and the replacement was put to the test.

Due to our long-haired pooch, it wasn’t long before the beater bar on the new machine was wrapped with hair. Some of this could be blamed on the old machine’s failures–the new one working twice as hard.

All things considered, I wouldn’t want to be like Bill Murray in “Ground Hog Day,” and relive this week again.