I’m, Brad Fussberger, reporting on one of the most unusual sports stories of my career. Just when the “Deflategate” brouhaha started to fade, this reporter, learned from a reliable source; that one of the Super Bowl teams is rumored to have a strange, secret weapon this year. Is it Pete Carroll’s, Seattle Seahawk’s, or veteran Super Bowl winner, Bill Belichick’s, New England Patriots?
Like myself, when I first heard about it; some of you might think; oh well–this is just another, strange, seldom-used, triple-reverse, gadget play. Or some crazy, throwback, flying wedge defense. Well, it’s none of those things–it’s hard-hitting football.
The maneuver is called the “Max Butt Slap.” And it’s not at all like the celebratory hand slap to the backside. It involves a defensive player spinning his body around; bowed at the waist, and hitting someone butt first. It’s a move, not unlike karate, or kick boxing. The full weight of the buttocks, aided by centrifugal force, delivered, with the force of a battering ram, against the opposing player.
“Where’d the idea come from, Brad?” The name and play came from an Australian Blue Heeler, named Max. Max’s owner, who requested to remain anonymous, told me, “Since Max’s lost weight–he’s been friskier. He’s “Butt Slapped,” our other dog, Maggie, repeatedly, across the backyard. So far, she’s not “Butt Slapped” him back. Max’s successfully “Butt Slapped” at the dog park.”
“Right away, I wondered–why couldn’t this move be used in pro football? Nobody could have been more shocked, than I was, when one of the teams was interested. I’ve signed a legally binding agreement not to reveal any details about which team it was.”
It’s certainly going to be interesting to see how the “Max Butt Slap” plays out this Sunday in Super Bowl XLIX. So far, the league hasn’t had anything to say. Will one of the teams “Butt Slap” their way to victory? With the “Puppy Bowl,” and “Butt Slap,” combined–has SB XLIX gone to the dogs? If this works, then professional football, will have advanced to the rear.