Two Mutts & Saturdays

Maggie and Max seem to have adjusted to changed living room furniture.  They’ve got the right idea–easing into the new day with a nap.

So the title should be interpreted as “Two Mutts, Saturdays & Stats Always Get Me Down.” That’s an awful Carpenter’s paraphrase and not entirely true.  The mutts are all right.  It’s a pleasant sunny Saturday and I have plans for this afternoon.  Stats can indeed be puzzling.

Stats seem to drop on Saturdays.  It’s the weekend.  Everybody’s out and about doing whatever strikes their fancy.  The conundrum–go out of my way to publish, or just let things ride?  Doing nothing in the past failed miserably.  Stats dropped even further.  Something is better than nothing.

The past week was a tough one regarding stats.  Perhaps being a slave to stats isn’t a good idea, either?  What’s going to be, is going to be –“Que sera, sera, whatever will be will be,” ala Doris Day.  Before I forget, Happy 92nd Birthday wishes to you DD.

Misquote of the Day, “No whine before its time”  –Bartles & Jaymes

STEAMING MAD

This has me steaming mad this morning.  If I don’t talk about it, my head’s going to explode.

Every morning around sunrise, the two mutts and me go for a morning stroll through the neighborhood.

This morning two “stray” dogs met us, barking–and in the case of the brindle and white pit bull, scratched the ground for a challenge.  The brown, hound-type dog, seemed to be just a friendly adolescent.

My two dogs were intimidated and wound their leashes around my legs so tight I couldn’t move.  I unhooked, Maggie so I could get unwound.  Followed the pit bull to see where “home” was.

He led me to a notorious neighborhood residence where there’s been trouble before.  One morning a couple of years ago, a woman jogger was bitten by one of their dogs–which I witnessed.

Calling the sheriff in the past has not stopped the problem.  The sheriff’s deputy just left and the brown dog is back again.  Scofflaws are going to do what they will.  Wish me luck.

THE MAX BUTT SLAP

Animal Planet

I’m, Brad Fussberger, reporting on one of the most unusual sports stories of my career.  Just when the “Deflategate” brouhaha started to fade, this reporter, learned from a reliable source; that one of the Super Bowl teams is rumored to have a strange, secret weapon this year.  Is it Pete Carroll’s, Seattle Seahawk’s, or veteran Super Bowl winner, Bill Belichick’s, New England Patriots?

Like myself, when I first heard about it; some of you might think; oh well–this is just another, strange, seldom-used, triple-reverse, gadget play.  Or some crazy, throwback, flying wedge defense. Well, it’s none of those things–it’s hard-hitting football.

The maneuver is called the “Max Butt Slap.”  And it’s not at all like the celebratory hand slap to the backside.  It involves a defensive player spinning his body around; bowed at the waist, and hitting someone butt first.  It’s a move, not unlike karate, or kick boxing.  The full weight of the buttocks, aided by centrifugal force, delivered, with the force of a battering ram, against the opposing player.

“Where’d the idea come from, Brad?”  The name and play came from an Australian Blue Heeler, named Max.  Max’s owner, who requested to remain anonymous, told me, “Since Max’s lost weight–he’s been friskier.  He’s “Butt Slapped,” our other dog, Maggie, repeatedly, across the backyard.  So far, she’s not “Butt Slapped” him back.  Max’s successfully “Butt Slapped” at the dog park.”

“Right away, I wondered–why couldn’t this move be used in pro football?  Nobody could have been more shocked, than I was, when one of the teams was interested.  I’ve signed a legally binding agreement not to reveal any details about which team it was.”

It’s certainly going to be interesting to see how the “Max Butt Slap” plays out this Sunday in Super Bowl XLIX.  So far, the league hasn’t had anything to say.  Will one of the teams “Butt Slap” their way to victory?  With the “Puppy Bowl,” and “Butt Slap,” combined–has SB XLIX gone to the dogs?  If this works, then professional football, will have advanced to the rear.