Doves & Owls (Free Philosophizing and Yard Art)

Nobody under the age of fifty will remember Mrs. Olsen, spokesperson for the Folger’s coffee brand.  She spoke with a Scandinavian accent and hawked “mountain grown” Folger’s coffee.

The UK and associated nations celebrate Boxing Day.  Last Holiday Season I received an advertisement on my computer, for Boxing Day sales in Australia.  My daughter resides there.

I propose a new Holiday tradition–Re-gifting Day.  A reason to get rid of those unwanted items cluttering the house.  Perhaps providing others with useful items?  At the very least, providing material to store for Re-gifting Day the following year.

Faking sickness:  Children will find it more difficult, because of energy efficient lighting, emitting far less heat energy.  Holding a thermometer against LED light bulbs will do little to fake high fevers.

Walk it off.  Wait and see.  Advice for those with aches and pains not severe enough to stay home from work or school.  There’s a whole Sudafed Army of us out there.

There are many “words of the moment” that become overused and trite.  So many, that I can never hope to keep current.  However, two that should be put to rest, are “epic” and legendary.”

Ego tourists: Loyalty program snobs: Latest terminology to describe those “entitled” persons that misbehave/bully other vacationers on cruise ships and at resorts.  The same people that cut you off in traffic, go on vacations.  Imagine that?

 

Java Jive (The Story Continued)

Another coffee study. This one by the University of Nottingham, alleges coffee could aid in weight loss. Because it helps the body burn brown fat. Which in turn could help prevent diabetes.

Don’t get me wrong. This is just another in a long series of studies on the beneficial/harmful effects of coffee consumption. It wasn’t that long ago, coffee was theorized to prevent alzheimers. Since I love coffee, I hope the positive effects are true.

Java, Cup of Joe, whatever you call it, what you add to it, is what makes it calorie-laden, fat-infused and unhealthy.  Of course, what ever turns out to be true, all good things should be consumed in moderation.

“Could I get a coffee refill, please?  No cream or sugar, just black.”

Around the Water Cooler

A cool Saturday morning.  Saturday’s are good days for housecleaning, and catching up on any other things that need to be done.

Since I am retired, there is no longer any water cooler gossip.  There are several topics, deserving discussion this morning.

A man in India is suing his parents, for them giving him birth, without his permission.  He claims to be an “Anti natalist” which by definition would mean he’s against birth.  I wonder if his parents now regret giving him birth?

B-I-N-G-O, and Bingo was his name-O.  When did bingo become a contact sport?  A Canadian nursing home is on lockdown after a bingo game turned into an all-out brawl.

There is actually a Northern Alabama semi-pro baseball team named, the  “Trash Pandas.”  This name selected from others, in a contest to name the team.  Toledo Mud Hens, Birmingham Biscuits, step aside.

Whatever happened to the criminal, known as the “Renegade cat shaver?” Animal cruelty is certainly not funny.  In many cases it’s smoke from the deeper fires of psychosis.

Remakes of movies and TV shows, I sometimes find amusing.  Especially the ones, that weren’t that good the first time around.  The latest proposed remake–“Beverly Hills 90210.”  My remake suggestion, “Beverly Hillbillies 90210.”  A two-for-one special.

 

When the ‘Net Is Down

It happens with a greater frequency than it should. Who or what is to blame? My ISP comes from the local, embedded telephone company. There are other sources. I don’t like things that are overly complicated.

Maybe it’s due to a threatening weather front? I’m not a meteorologist. Even though, in the AF, I tried to be one.
The job title, “Weather Observer” was tempting.

What to do when the internet goes down? The same advice your parents gave when you said, “I’m bored. There’s nothing to do” applies.

Read a book. Go for a walk. Clean your room. Write something. Write to someone. Remember when people still wrote letters? Talk to someone you’ve been thinking about. Do what people did before the internet came along.

Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, off to the warehouse membership store I go.

Doing Nothing

I’m drowning in old electronics, documents, non-functional yard equipment.  Places to recycle these items, are inconvenient.  If they exist at all, are cost prohibitive.  Recycling should be easier.

Another holiday nobody asked for, is today’s National Nothing Day.  A day, in which to do nothing, for those so inclined.  As if I needed an excuse to do nothing.  Doing nothing is a choice, the same as is performing useful tasks.

My choice for National Nothing Day, is not to participate.  I’m doing nothing.  What do you think of that?

Honey Do’s and Don’ts

Most of us married chaps have honey-do lists–whether they’re written down or not.

What would I do if I ever reached the end of the list? I don’t know, it’s never happened, and probably never will.

Why? When tasks are completed from the top of the list, undone tasks settle to the bottom, then more are added to the top to make up for the missing ones.

Today was not a good honey-do completion day. Two tasks–cleaning the inside of the family car, picking up winter-killed sticks from the backyard, have yet to be completed.

My excuses? Parts of the backyard were still flooded from recent heavy rains. No excuse for not tidying up the car.

Oh well, never let it be said that I didn’t work well under pressure. The car has to be in the repair shop this coming Wednesday, What would I ever do without the challenges of a lengthy honey-do list?

Short Attention Span Theatre

I’m sure there are those among us that will be dismayed, because Santa didn’t bring what they wanted.

Stuck waiting for punch lines, because there should have been more, but, there wasn’t.

Personal electronic devices allowed us the “have it our way.” That was until advertisers and spammers worked their way around firewalls and roadblocks.

Internet “click bait,” has the same content as supermarket tabloids. You Tube videos are chock-full of pop-up ads. Included political ads recently–to my dismay.

Has anyone tabulated the percentage of legitimate telephone calls received during an average day–compared to telemarketer and nuisance calls? What would it be: 5%? 10%? 1%?

Recently, a city hall clerk in a certain state, refused a marriage license, because the gentleman formerly resided in New Mexico. The clerk mistakenly thought New Mexico was a foreign country.

Never Ending Songs

My wife’s complaint when eating pasta–the amount of pasta seemed to grow.

Washed the car today. Good weather for December. Kept finding more dirty spots and paint scratches.

I have a healthy appetite, but sometimes porterhouse steaks are too much to consume at one sitting. That’s what doggy bags were for.

Long layovers at the airport. Can’t get too comfortable, because it isn’t the same as home. Ears tuned to all messages played overhead. Maybe through some miracle, my flight will board early?

Graduation ceremonies: On all levels seem to go on and on; before candidates march to the podium. High school bleacher seats are downright uncomfortable. College level graduations, tend to have better seating.

Waiting at the doctor’s/dentist’s office.  You made an appointment and were on time.  Waiting for an hour in a tiny examining room is excruciating.  I know doctor’s are overbooked–doesn’t make it any easier.  Plenty of time to brush up knowledge by reading medical posters on the walls.

Excuses, Excuses

Excuses went hand-in-hand with procrastination. Why didn’t you mow the lawn today? Sorry, it was too hot. Maybe, tomorrow or next week?

Nothing would ever get done if I succumbed to excuses. Procrastination was much too easy and I felt guilty afterward. Credit my upbringing for a well-developed sense of guilt.

The dog ate my homework. The check’s in the mail. I couldn’t help speeding, Officer. I had a cramp in my accelerator foot. Did people still use these? And did they still work?

Perhaps the reason so much work got done, on my part this week, had to do with a celestial phenomenon? Planetary alignment had been a favorite excuse–in the past.

Pluto aligned with the rest of the solar system for the first time in nearly a century, according to Avery Thompson in Popular Mechanics.

On July 12th, Pluto crossed plane of the solar system for the second time since its discovery. This won’t occur again for another 161 years. This was a unique opportunity for viewers from earth telescopes.

I didn’t know any of this happened last week. I was much too busy.  What if Hell really did freeze over?  So much for procrastination.

Small Talk Monday

What’s new?

Oh, I don’t know

What’s new with you?

Ain’t nothing to it.

How about you?

Now, that the old business was out of the way.

Did you hear about the Chicago barber offering spray-on beards?

No, was it the same as spray-on hair?

Not quite, but almost the same.

For those that couldn’t wait, or couldn’t grow their own.

If I couldn’t grow the real thing, I would just as soon do without.