Roundabout Rants & J-Turns

A nearby beach community recently came up with another gem of brilliance.  I’m not a resident, so none of the following affects me directly.  These are simply annoyances when passing through.

Beach boulevard intersections were converted to a series of intersections requiring J-turns. Left turns from this major, four-lane thoroughfare, are accomplished by going past where one formerly turned directly into shopping centers; then by entering double left turn lanes, making U-turns, then making right turns.

Did that make any sense? Reasoning was to avoid left turns against oncoming traffic at busiest intersections. No argument from me on traffic safety issues. I think pedestrian-friendly overhead walkways are needed more. There have been numerous pedestrian fatalities.

I’m against their proposed traffic circle on Canal Rd. Why take a perfectly controlled intersection and turn it into chaos? Is it that the city doesn’t want to maintain traffic signals? Most people in this country don’t know how traffic circles work–as to rights-of-way.

I refuse to pay 3.50 fare each way to cross the Intercoastal Waterway on their privately owned bridge. So what, if it’s an extra five miles to go around. It’s the principal of the thing. Rumor is, they may build another new bridge to the west of the existing one.  It would also be privately owned.

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Fresh From the Backyard Grill

It’s a stormy Sunday afternoon and evening. There have been tornado warnings. I’m grilling shrimp kabobs–under porch roof, of course.

Different things run in and out of my mind. Not getting wet on trips back to the house is of utmost importance. Not overcooking the shrimp is secondary.

Remedies for baldness always amuse me. Not that I have an excess of hair at my age. Such remedies have been around for ages.

Do they work? It’s difficult for me to fathom how fibers from an “overgrown pepper shaker” would bring relief. If they give those challenged by the lack of hair some satisfaction–I’m all right with it.

Another “screen grabber” extolled a scientific discovery that all life may have originated on Mars. That would certainly be at odds with the “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” way of thinking.  These stories repeat themselves with regularity.

Rinse, Lather, Repeat

My lawn is squishy from excessive summer rains. Please, somebody turn off the faucet.

Perusing the news. A 100-year-old fruitcake was discovered to still be edible. Any takers?

More people are cheating on their taxes. I think the same people have always cheated–just never got caught.

The parent company of IHOP and Applebees, is reportedly ready to close up to 160 underperforming outlets. Funny thing, I was just talking about our local franchise, and how it had gone downhill.

Anyone else want to see an “Apolitical Television Network?”

Radio commercials heard many times before–“make money working from home;” “reduce credit car debt forever;” “regain your brain power.” Have to give credit for persistence.

Frozen pizzas were scattered all over the highway in an Arkansas community this week, due to a delivery truck mishap.

Elvis Presley week is fast approaching. Do you have celebration plans?

Is the current crises with N. Korea like the Cold War of the past? It is a small reminder of what it was like. The Cold War was much worse. When schools start to have “duck and cover” drills, once again–then, I’ll start to worry.

Some experts alleged predicted solar eclipse maps were inaccurate.  In any case, much of the northern hemisphere, will glimpse a complete to partial eclipse.  I remember safely viewing past partial eclipses by reflections, and with welder’s helmets.

A stray cat ran across the outfield during a recent St. Louis Cardinals baseball game.  The team went on to win and the fluffy tabby will henceforth be known as “The Rally Cat.” The feral cat was later found, and I wish him/her well.

Transportation Department

For some, cars were mere transportation appliances–devices to transport people and cargo from one point to another.

These are the folks that sat on car hoods. Piled groceries on their car’s hood or trunk. Their steel-bodied pack mules sported faded paint, unrepaired scratches, dents, and dings.

Cars at the end of their planned obsolescence, purchased on the cheap.  Picasso would be proud of mismatched doors, temporarily bracketed headlights after minor parking lot accidents.  Just enough to keep on the right side of the law.

Sometimes due to financial constraints, there wasn’t a choice.  During my teens and early adulthood, I drove some very flawed automobiles.  Now, that I have a choice, I no longer choose to do so.

What I do understand, is it doesn’t bother the person driving the old clunker, already covered with dents, when another dent occurs, as much as it would the person with a newer car.

It may be a sickness, but automobiles for some of us, are part of our egos.  We spend hours keeping The Silver Flash or Old Betsey shined and polished.

The wealthy individual that recently wrecked his new 288,000 Ferrari, shortly after purchase–I’ll never understand.

Old clunker, or shiny new “Chromemobile?”  What’s your pleasure?  Did you have an interesting hand-me-down first car?

 

More To Come Later

“Wake up.  You were snoring,” Said the bailiff–while shaking my shoulder.

“Yes, he was–very loudly,”  Said one of my fellow jurors.

“Sleep on your own time–not on the court’s,”  Warned the bailiff.

Doubtful, anything that drastic will happen.  I’ve been summoned for jury duty the first two weeks of April.

Not that I have anything against doing one’s civic duty.  I’m a Vietnam-era vet, for Heaven’s sake.

I know that obligations can turn into more than one hoped for.  My wife served on a jury;  was selected for a murder trial that deliberated for three months.

“Who was Dog the Bounty Hunter?”  My wife asked, upon her return, one night during the trial.  During break that day the reality show star had been outside the courthouse.  She wasn’t impressed with the “Dogster”–only with the plethora of local TV news crews.

Whatever happens, there won’t be much time for blogging, or other internet activities.  I won’t be able to talk about any of the proceedings.

Not to worry–other than the 45 mile commute each direction; my wife warned me; most of the time would be consumed by legal wrangling between prosecution and defense teams.

“It would be like going to work for the county every day,” She said.  “Hurry up and wait.”  Where had I heard that before?

Midweek– Think, Sink, or Swim

What light through yonder window breaks?  Why, it’s our long-lost friend the sun.

It’s a good day for conclusion jumping, claim jumping, line jumping, leap frogging, frog jumping; any other kind of jumping–for those so inclined.  Makes me tired just thinking about it.

Beating the bushes for story ideas–at the same time, careful not to overlook the obvious.

Fingers didn’t move as fast as my mind worked.  That will never change.

Sometimes I feel like the guy that spoke several languages; didn’t understand any of them.

Technology changed the world–changed the way we do things.  Made the world seem smaller.  In spite of advances, human nature never changed.

There’s comfort to be found when things don’t change too drastically, too quickly.  I despise planned obsolescence, which seems to occur faster-and-faster.

I’m older, like to reminisce.  Only people of my generation can relate to the same experiences.  On some days, I feel like a twenty-year-old, trapped in a sixty-eight year old man’s body.  Other days the opposite is true.

In the old days, we didn’t apply superlatives to everything that happened.

What would happen if a termite were taped to a splinter to remove it?