He Meant Well

Not wanting to proofread and edit text, because nothing better was in the offing.  I’ve no intention of this becoming a burgeoning negative diatribe.

What to write about, when nothing immediately comes to mind?  That in itself is a topic of interest to most of us.

Small business names, some creative, some atrocious:  Hair Apparent–a hair-styling salon; A Touch Of Glass–glass repair shop;  Chitty, Chitty, Bang, Bang–car repair and tune-up shop; The Big Bang–auto collision repair;  So Close and Yet So Far Away–travel agency; Bless My Sole–shoe repair shop.

I recently found out, that one of my great uncles on my grandmother’s side of the family, was a writer.  I read some of his poems, and found them to offer interesting insights of rural life during the twenties and thirties.

Are most writers introverted?  I’ve nothing to substantiate this.  Like in the rest of society, some probably are, and some are not.  For what it’s worth, I side with the introverts.

 

A Horse By Any Other Name

Why was it that some folks frequently butchered names of persons, places, and things?

For example, “Hokyo,” instead of Tokyo, “Thighland, instead of Thailand. An older couple in a restaurant, referred to jalapeno peppers, as “Joplins.” Perhaps, it was a way to make the unfamiliar make sense.

Foreign words are perhaps the easiest to stumble over.  Some French words are a mystery to me.  I’m most familiar with American English–as it applies to someone raised in the Midwest.

Something as personal as someone’s name, could be unfamiliar.  It’s less embarrassing to ask how it’s pronounced, rather than mess it up completely.

Those raised in other parts of the country, called water fountains “bubblers;” referred to carbonated soft drinks as “pop” or “soda pop;” called grocery shopping carts, “buggies.”

If in doubt do as the locals do.  Although, a hardware store caller mystified me, when working there.  She asked for “moronic acid.”  Upon further examination, she wanted muriatic acid–a heavy-duty cleaning product.

Redd Foxx, in the TV show, “Sanford and Son,” called hors d’oeuvre, “horse divers.”  It was comedic butchery, and a deliberate put-down of French cuisine.

A horse is still a horse, no matter what it’s called.  No matter where it’s from.

Honey Do’s and Don’ts

Most of us married chaps have honey-do lists–whether they’re written down or not.

What would I do if I ever reached the end of the list? I don’t know, it’s never happened, and probably never will.

Why? When tasks are completed from the top of the list, undone tasks settle to the bottom, then more are added to the top to make up for the missing ones.

Today was not a good honey-do completion day. Two tasks–cleaning the inside of the family car, picking up winter-killed sticks from the backyard, have yet to be completed.

My excuses? Parts of the backyard were still flooded from recent heavy rains. No excuse for not tidying up the car.

Oh well, never let it be said that I didn’t work well under pressure. The car has to be in the repair shop this coming Wednesday, What would I ever do without the challenges of a lengthy honey-do list?

Never Ending Songs

My wife’s complaint when eating pasta–the amount of pasta seemed to grow.

Washed the car today. Good weather for December. Kept finding more dirty spots and paint scratches.

I have a healthy appetite, but sometimes porterhouse steaks are too much to consume at one sitting. That’s what doggy bags were for.

Long layovers at the airport. Can’t get too comfortable, because it isn’t the same as home. Ears tuned to all messages played overhead. Maybe through some miracle, my flight will board early?

Graduation ceremonies: On all levels seem to go on and on; before candidates march to the podium. High school bleacher seats are downright uncomfortable. College level graduations, tend to have better seating.

Waiting at the doctor’s/dentist’s office.  You made an appointment and were on time.  Waiting for an hour in a tiny examining room is excruciating.  I know doctor’s are overbooked–doesn’t make it any easier.  Plenty of time to brush up knowledge by reading medical posters on the walls.

In Search Of Lost Limericks

Donald knew
If he waited
It would be
Too late
His limericks
Fated to a drawer
Waiting for the day
When pigs flew
Impossible things happened
If he was persistent
He could conjure up
Something, that had
previously never existed?
His mind wandered backward
To when, knights
Rescued distressed
Damsels in castles
And performed
Other feats of derring-do
Then, Donald paused
To ponder the science
Behind everyday appliances