Don’t Call Us, We’ll Call You

“Do you have Prince Albert in a can?” Asked the prankster caller.  “Well, don’t you think you better let him out?”  The caller hung up to guffaws of laughter.

Telephone pranks, prevalent during my misspent youth–along with, “Is your refrigerator running?”  “Yes it is,” was the expected answer.  “Then you better catch it, it’s running down the road.”

Townsfolk knew they were kids from the neighborhood and meant no harm.

Aren’t junk phone calls annoying? During all hours of the day, especially at inconvenient times.

Telemarketers bad enough, political calls were the absolute worst. Always from the same numbers. Unfamiliar numbers, never answered. Didn’t unwanted callers ever get the message?

No call lists never seemed to help. Telemarketers and their ilk, had ways to hurdle such roadblocks. They used the local area code prefix to snare the unsuspecting. Robocalls randomly dialed number sequences.

Wireless phones were not exempted. Junk calls and text messages abounded.

Games played for commercial purposes, or games played by neighborhood pranksters?  I prefer neighborhood pranksters.

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Quirks & Quacks

Never had a pet duck. There were plenty of cats, dogs, chickens, calves, rabbits, and pigs. Not that I had anything against ducks.

When I grew up on the farm, there were so many mother cats with kittens, we kids struggled to name them all. One kitten was christened, “Little Bitty Wild Man,” another named “Meowy.” Then the genetic experiment went amiss, distemper struck, and only the strongest survived.

Inanimate objects like automobiles didn’t have personalities, but they did have quirks.  Mostly due to deferred maintenance and a long succession of owners.  Left rear doors closed reluctantly.  Heaters worked, full-blast only–if at all.  Windows wouldn’t roll down or up.  Worn, three-speed stick shift linkages tested patience.  Frequently stuck in second gear.

Nothing like the thrill of going into a skid on rain-slick roads, because one of the tires was bald.  There was only money for used tires.  Money is no longer the problem it once was.  Procrastination, however, still is.

My laptop computer overheated and shut down for a long time before it was repaired.  Other things took priority.  I have two PC’s, and the laptop worked in 5-10 minute spurts, before it had to be shut down.

The worst quirk–it sometimes wouldn’t shut down, without the battery being removed.  Why did I put up with it?  I’ve put up with quirky things my entire life, and see them as challenges to overcome.  I know, I’m not alone. Toilet tank handle jigglers, please raise your hands.  Put them down. I can’t see them anyway.

 

 

Running Lean & Mean

A post never finished from this past May.  Today was about errand running, started with going for lawn mower gas, right before a driving rainstorm.  Took my laptop in for repairs, trip timed perfectly to get involved in gridlock on the I-10, because of a serious bay bridge accident.  Some creative detours later, stopped for lunch, and all ended well.

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Secret awesome sauce
Bad memory foam
Space probing questions
Lonesome holograms
Lucky in luck
Knot the hole thing
Reverse osmosis day
Hat attacks on windy days
Wear whir you?
Wye, why, Wye?

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Her name was McGill, She called herself Lil, but everyone knew her as Nancy–The Beatles–

Rescue Me

Protesters, watched from afar
On living room flat screens
Days weren’t always sunny
Some jokes weren’t funny
To those with sweat-drenched bodies
When gnats, mosquitoes, swarmed
Above kudzu choked landscapes
Where catfish swam in murky waters
Death and taxes, the only certainties
Yet, no one demanded to be rescued

 

Rain Games

Rain, you’ve had more than your share of fame recently. You must have an excellent publicist.

Relatives are visiting the area for the first time this week. It’s rained, at least part of, every day–so far. I trust they’re having a good time in spite of the soggy weather.

With that thought in mind, here are titles of some favorite songs about rain.  And, also about crying–which is almost the same thing as rain.

  • Crying
  • Crying Time
  • Crying In the Rain
  • I’ll Cry Instead
  • Don’t Cry For Me Argentina
  • Rhythm Of the Rain
  • Rainy Night In Georgia
  • Raindrops, So Many Raindrops
  • Can’t Stand the Rain
  • You and Me and Rain On the Roof
  • Singing In the Rain
  • You and Me Can’t Stop Crying In the Rain On a Rainy Night In Georgia  (Of Course, I Made That One Up)

No ‘Net For You Today

More succinctly, it was yesterday afternoon and evening. As expected, ISP repair offered stock, recorded solutions–which included, “Most issues can be solved by going to our website.” An impossibility when the net was down.

Techs were allegedly working on the problem, clearance promised, first by 5 PM, then by 9 PM. What to do in the interim?

I caught up on some light reading. Refereed my two dog’s wrestling match. Neither lost their tempers, although it was touch-and-go at one instance.

Everything was cleared before their 9 PM commitment.  By then, I was too tired to access the web.