Just Another Manic Pun Day

It’s not easy to ignore today’s top news story.  The Academy Awards–and all the hoopla that went with it.  This gave rise to a new tradition–terrible puns, and a day to celebrate them.  Nobody seems to like Mondays, so how about “Manic Pun Days” instead?  You’re welcome to come up with your best, sorry, I meant “wurst” efforts.  Do it for Leap Day–unless you’re chicken.  That would be murder most fowl.

  • Liver patois
  • Sleeveless in Seattle
  • Listen to the Muzak
  • Just the fax, ma’am
  • The diatribe has spoken
  • Lady Chatterly’s Liver
  • What have you done for me philately?
  • Shortest distance between two paints
  • I’m grinning from here to here
  • The Buick stops here

FIFTY SHADES OF BUH–BYE

Sat still, waited
Stayed strong
Somehow, something
Better, would come along

Hung onto words
Happy to be unseen
And unheard–walked away
Then returned–pretended
To enjoy the show, again

How to derive logic
From all that was illogical?
No, not my style
Accepted as illogical
Then–moved on

I didn’t get the big picture
Because, truth was elsewhere–in
The Chrissy Teigen underwear scare
And the way everyone wore their hair