Roundabout Rants & J-Turns

A nearby beach community recently came up with another gem of brilliance.  I’m not a resident, so none of the following affects me directly.  These are simply annoyances when passing through.

Beach boulevard intersections were converted to a series of intersections requiring J-turns. Left turns from this major, four-lane thoroughfare, are accomplished by going past where one formerly turned directly into shopping centers; then by entering double left turn lanes, making U-turns, then making right turns.

Did that make any sense? Reasoning was to avoid left turns against oncoming traffic at busiest intersections. No argument from me on traffic safety issues. I think pedestrian-friendly overhead walkways are needed more. There have been numerous pedestrian fatalities.

I’m against their proposed traffic circle on Canal Rd. Why take a perfectly controlled intersection and turn it into chaos? Is it that the city doesn’t want to maintain traffic signals? Most people in this country don’t know how traffic circles work–as to rights-of-way.

I refuse to pay 3.50 fare each way to cross the Intercoastal Waterway on their privately owned bridge. So what, if it’s an extra five miles to go around. It’s the principal of the thing. Rumor is, they may build another new bridge to the west of the existing one.  It would also be privately owned.

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Fresh From the Backyard Grill

It’s a stormy Sunday afternoon and evening. There have been tornado warnings. I’m grilling shrimp kabobs–under porch roof, of course.

Different things run in and out of my mind. Not getting wet on trips back to the house is of utmost importance. Not overcooking the shrimp is secondary.

Remedies for baldness always amuse me. Not that I have an excess of hair at my age. Such remedies have been around for ages.

Do they work? It’s difficult for me to fathom how fibers from an “overgrown pepper shaker” would bring relief. If they give those challenged by the lack of hair some satisfaction–I’m all right with it.

Another “screen grabber” extolled a scientific discovery that all life may have originated on Mars. That would certainly be at odds with the “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” way of thinking.  These stories repeat themselves with regularity.

Do You Feel Lucky?

Perambulating under ladders
not a good thing to do
at any time
not just on
Friday thirteenth
Broken mirrors
Spilled salt
Black cats
across pathways
Handwritten
Number one
and thirteen
spaced too closely
resembled the
Letter “B”
Hotels left out
Floor thirteen–
Nothing between
Floors twelve
and fourteen
Did that really
fool anyone?
Luck is right place
right time
We make our own luck
our own superstitions
That’s the way
it has always been

Editor’s Note: Written before my fast-food order got totally botched.  Two value meals, same as I always ordered.  How hard could that be to understand?  Maybe there’s something to the Friday thirteenth thing.  No Friday thirteenth fast-food from now on.

 

Words That Stuck Around

Lots of letters–of course
Enough vowels to avoid confusion
Could be blissful, wistful, strong
Not likely to be wasted words
Describing persons, places, things
Peppered with apostrophes
To mark missing letters
Hyphens were popular
As were, compound words
Wait a minute–I said as I pondered
What I’d just written was absurd
Words weren’t supposed to be
Compounded to confound
The best words were those
Used in casual conversations
Not those hard to remember

Torn Mental Notebook Pages

Feather bolsters

Sea monkeys

Dead armadillos

Cuteness overlords

From the social stratosphere

Propped on front yard mental blocks

No swim zones–surrounded by water

With best of everything, and no money

Phenomenons learned from lemons–without limits

Never volunteered, never admitted to anything

Yellow-bellied cowards–stared

From jalousie windows

Got the blues–their compassion

Eaten by moray eels

Didn’t care for salads

Meat, meat, more meat

Potatoes, potatoes, and more potatoes

Until they were all starched up

Played mental games

With sock-monkey puppets

Finished against head strong winds

 

 

What About the Warranty?

Arrgh! My watch band broke. Where was the receipt? Found it. Purchase date, April 22nd, of the current year. Warranty disclaimers had more holes than the Titanic.

Went to the place of purchase. They were more helpful, than expected; temporarily fixed the band, till the correct pins arrived by mail.

The worn-out vacuum bit the big one and went to dead appliance Valhalla.

Much to do before escaping for an extended weekend with friends. Did I mention the riding mower battery failed before mowing the lawn? It failed to hold a charge–four-years old. It’s been hard to keep ahead of the broken stuff lately.