Out Of Time–Out Of Touch

Afternoon swoon
Miniscule, minute
One-fish wonders
Inane, insane
Subliminal appeals
Magical cheese blenders
As seen on TV–39.95
Not available in stores
Gullibility, Vulnerability
Liability, probabilities


More Tales From New Oyster Cloister

Not much good news lately. There are other headlines, however. Here are a few.

  • Where Gordon Ramsay will never eat.
  • Mysterious uranium particles found in Alaska
  • Amy Schumer wed secretly
  • Most Americans were in debt
  • Why most freezers didn’t have lights
  • Losing an aircraft engine in flight was no big deal
  • Sixteen vacation ideas for introverts
  • Still more cute toddler and pet pictures

The author reserves the right to complain about anything, and everything at any given moment.  There were no implications of interest, admissions of guilt, in any of the above topics.

What’s Your Hurry?

That’s the question
All older people asked
And if they didn’t ask
They were thinking it
Good days, bad days
Work got done
Or, not done
Things went the right way
Things went astray
Going faster and faster
Didn’t always make things better


Where’s the fire
what’s the hurry about?
You’ve got so much to do
And only so many
Hours in a day…
But you know when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or, you can just get old…

Billy Joel’s, Vienna Waits For You–

Us Vs. Them

Passwords, crossroads, thresholds
Odorless, colorless, worthless
Sentimental old fools
Set in their ways
Opinionated, tactless
Forgot passwords
Couldn’t be swayed
Made no sense
Made no sense at all
Orbiting Tesla roadster
Another piece of space junk
Expensive designer genes
Semantics–wars with words
QWERTY–UIOP for sure

The “Ick” Factor

The “ick” factor influenced everything. What determined the degree of “ickiness?” It wasn’t written down anywhere, and could change at any given moment.

Some of it had to do with maturity. What was icky at age six wasn’t necessarily icky at age fifteen–or vice-versa.  Things could change from icky to not-icky and back again at any time.

Anything could be icky. Certain disliked foods could be icky. Unpleasant tasting medicine could be icky.  People could be icky–especially if they had icky habits. Of course the accuser’s habits were exceptions to the rule.

Bugs, worms, slugs, snails, snakes and other creepy-crawly creatures could be considered icky. Of course there were exceptions. The non-squeamish tantalized the squeamish–especially if they publicized their squeamishness and made scenes.

There were those weird kids on the school bus. The ones that caught flies and ate them for attention.  They weren’t lacking dietary protein–that anyone could tell. I won’t mention any more examples, because they would send sensitivity meters off the scales. Only to say, that as icky days go, this has been one of the “ickiest.”

Doesn’t Take a Weatherman To Know Which Way the Wind Blows

Nobody cares which parts of the country have good or bad weather. How one reacts to adverse conditions is what counts.

I’ve been grocery shopping with the wife; assisted with laundry. She’s been restricted from normal activities because of cataract surgery. She’s recovering well. A good excuse to go out for breakfast.

There will not be any further restaurant reviews. Everything I’ve recommended has gone out of business, caught fire, suffered from different forms of pestilence.

What makes things like that happen? Is it a matter of luck, when things one likes are discontinued or go out of business? My favorite creamy balsamic vinaigrette salad dressing disappeared. If this were a letter to “Dear Abby” it would be signed–“Desperate in the Deep South.”

Unfiltered Camels Please

A recent Saudi Arabian beauty pageant for camels was recently thrown into chaos.

It seemed some of the camel participants had been artificially enhanced by Botox injections. Which was against the rules.

Even though Botox made contestant’s faces more handsome, natural beauty was preferred by the judges.  The “offenders” were disqualified.

Let’s be honest, were camels really that beautiful in the first place? Beauty is certainly in the eyes of the beholders.  Did they also have first and second runners-up?  Were there Ms./Mr. Congenialities?