“You have a small mouth,” Said the dental hygienist. My sarcastic nature went to work.
“Maybe I missed my calling? I should have joined the circus.” Her comment was off-the-wall–or at the very least, tactless.
“Sorry, I’m just a mouth monitor–would you look at the size of that mouth! Now, there’s a mouth I could work with.” She didn’t say it–was she thinking it?
A neighbor, given to spontaneous bombastic bouts of unsolicited advice, had this to say about preventing my dogs from digging holes in the backyard.
“Well, you fill the hole up with water. Then, grab the offending dog by the nose; stick the dog’s head and snout underwater, until he squirms and gasps for air. Repeat, if necessary, and by gosh they’ll get the message or drown. Either way–no more holes!”
“Thanks for the information, neighbor. I’ll get back to you on that.” There was no way in heck, I was going to do that.
Most holes were discovered after the fact. When it was too late to yell at the offender. Collecting dog excrement and depositing it in the hole before filling it was semi-successful. The worst holes were under the privacy fence.
At this point, I don’t think the dogs wanted to escape–they were just curious about neighborhood activities. And, I can dig that.