INN: Minute Newsbit (An Update)

Most of my writing efforts happen early, since I’m a morning person.  A trip to the dentist, followed up by a trip to the DMV, and my morning was shot.

Channel 10 News had a film crew outside the DMV–which is also a branch courtroom facility.  They didn’t catch my best side; as a matter of fact–if they caught me at all, it was from the backside.  This reminded me of a post from two years ago.

From archives–an update.  Mr. Charles Sandwyche, subject of my  2015 DMV story, complained about people mispronouncing his last name.  “It is pronounced ‘Sandw-i-k-e’ with a long ‘I’ sound, followed with a hard ‘ch’–not ‘sandwich’ as in ‘cheese sandwich’.  Think of it like “Sandwhite” then change the ‘T’ to a ‘K.’  Mr. Sandwyche once considered changing his last name to something simpler.


“FU-EE-2–UU,” Mr. Charles Sandwyche said to the Lynnwood, HJ DMV, when his request for a specific vanity plate inscription was denied.  “I was totally shocked–because it wasn’t obscene or anything.  It’s a violation of free speech–if you ask mej.  They offered me “KA-BLU-EE,” “NUTZ-2-YW,” “EE-I-I-OU,” and “QAA-POWE” as alternatives.  Those weren’t anywhere near what I wanted.  So, I guess I’ll mope along with random letters and numbers.

“We try to give registrants what they want when we can,” Said Robin Batson, Secretary of NJ Department of Vehicle Registrations.  “We thought ‘FU-EE-2-UU’ could potentially incite someone to violence.  Especially with the amount of road rage incidents these days.”

“Don’t get me wrong–I’m not putting any of that on Mr. Sandwyche.  I’m sorry Mr. Sandwyche was disappointed.  There were many viable and creative alternatives available.  One of my favorites is ‘DT-DU-DOG-DU’–it’s humorous, and a public service message at the same time.  So far, there have been no takers.  Maybe Mr. Sandwyche isn’t a dog person?”


1-24-17, Lantz Walters, “Minute Newsbit” Imaginary News Network–





Author: warturoadam77p

65 year old married retired communications worker with three grown children, transplanted from the Midwest to the sunny Gulf Coast.

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