Too bad there wasn’t a day set aside to celebrate whatever needed celebrating.
In tiny Murvale, Nebraska, today is “Everything is Everything Day.”
When asked for more specifics at a press conference, Mayor Floyd Mason replied, “It means–everything is everything for everybody everywhere.”
“It’s Friday, August 22nd, time to celebrate. Within confines of the law–of course.”
“It’s our all-inclusive holiday. Perhaps the only one in the world?”
“Yes, you said all of that before, but what exactly does it mean?” A reporter from CNN asked.
“Who was famous for saying, I’m a victim of circumstance?” Mayor Mason asked.
“Curly Joe from the Three Stooges,” the reporter answered.
“That was Curly’s catch-all phrase–before Moe smacked him on the head.”
“There are a lot of serious things going on in the world that are beyond our control. We good citizens of Murvale are not victims of circumstance–nor do we ever intend to be.”
“You outsiders, from the media, may see us as an ordinary Midwestern…
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