As faithful “Around the Town” readers know, this is Monday, “Mailbox Day.” My favorite day of the week, since becoming a feature columnist for The Cleveland Daily Times. This letter selected, not because someone agreed with me, but quite the opposite.
For the record, I wasn’t happy about the Brown’s 23-7 loss to the Texans yesterday. A reader took exception to last week’s column. Everybody in this town has an opinion about Cleveland sports teams. This letter was written by Mr. Tony Farkas from Shaker Heights. Expletives were deleted.
Mr. Charles “Skip” Dumas
Around the Town
Cleveland Daily Times
Cleveland, OH 44114
Dear “Skippy” Dum***s,
I’ve never written to a newspaper before. You stupid rat t**d! I’m so ********* mad, I could spit! You can use my name–I don’t ******care! Because you probably won’t ******publish this anyway!
Your column this week belongs in the dumpster. It smells bad, like ******Lake Erie. I ought to come up there right now and give you an atomic wedgie–just like I did in seventh grade. That’s right, you should know who this is. Lucky for you, that day, the principal came along.
We’re not in junior high anymore. I’m a working stiff, trying to make a living. I’m my own boss–run an auto body shop. My job is probably much different from yours. I’ve never been a big shot with an office job.
But, that wasn’t what got me so ****** cranked up. How could you say, “The Browns stink and don’t deserve to be in the playoffs.” They’re no worse than a lot of other teams in the league. Don’t they at least deserve wild-card status?
It’s mostly because of “Johnny Football” Manziel–the Browns new ‘Showboating’ quarterback. Manziel is a distraction–gets too much attention for a backup quarterback. The latest–he’s carrying a torch, because Tiger Woods stiffed him on an autograph when he was ten. Maybe he’s not worth the big bucks paid to sign him?
Who appointed you ******Judge Judy? You don’t know ****about running a team. And “Showboating?” You’ve got a short memory–if you don’t remember “Broadway” Joe Namath–the original “Showboater.” He did a ****** commercial for *********panty hose for Heaven’s sake.
And furthermore, “Skippy,” you’re a distraction! Our sports teams make this town a great place to live. They deserve loyalty and support–not half-baked, cockamamie bull-**** like this. Give Manziel a chance!
“LOVE ‘DEM DAWGS FOREVER!”
Tony “Big Tony” Farkas
DBA: The Auto Body Experience
Mr. “Big Tony” Farkas, I trust you’ll understand, when I say, no hard feelings. Thanks for caring enough to read my column. And for expressing your opinion. We’re not as far apart as you might think.
Sometimes I stick my neck out and take the unpopular side of issues. Then, I’m the guy sweeping up after the circus elephants. It’s a hard job, but somebody’s got to do it.
Next time you’re downtown, stop at the Daily Times building. Give me a ring, we’ll get together for coffee, and reminisce about old times. And, yes–we validate parking.