A misused word, a misremembered song lyric, a cream pie that just happened to be there: tell us about a time you (or someone else) said or did something unintentionally funny.
Jagerschnitzel from a local gasthaus near Frankfurt, Germany, was a favorite among Air Force enlisted men such as myself. Of course it came smothered in luscious brown mushroom gravy.
One evening, my buddy Joe and I, ordered Jagerschnitzel with a side of pomme frites, The attractive waitress thought she recognized Joe from a previous encounter. Joe was embarrassed and denied everything.
“Joe, you old dog. You’ve been holding out on me.”
It may have been mistaken identity. Joe was normally quiet and reserved. I took advantage of the situation.
As if by twisted, wicked karma, my embarrassing moment was soon to come.
Sometime during the meal, my thumb made an unfortunate slip into thick brown gravy. A series of unplanned events went into slow motion; the gravy splashed up onto my face and glasses. The plate flipped up, deposited more gravy.
At that moment, I wished for instantaneous invisibility–it didn’t happen. There I was–a big doofus, covered in brown gravy.
I mopped with the puny paper napkin until it was hopelessly saturated. My glasses were the worst.
Before I could leave for the restroom–Joe looked in my direction.
“Adam. what the hell happened to you?” Joe was astonished.
“I’ve never seen so much gravy. I thought the waitress dumped the plate over your head.”
“No, Joe, I did it with my fat thumb–all by myself.”
This was my most embarrassing dining incident. I can laugh about it now. If wearable food becomes popular, I’m not interested. Save yourself some embarrassment. Watch out for gravy karma.